....Hello?

....Peanuts?  Anyone still here?  Remember me?  Ya me either.  But here I am. 
We all made it safe and sound to our new home. There was much chaos and confusion, and plenty of hopping as the US Navy screamed, "DANCE, MONKEY, DANCE!" and it all swirled around in a giant tornado of unanswered questions and packing paper and phone calls and remembering to breathe, and then somehow or other, it all settled out.  And so.  The Littles and I are here; we are Sorting Things Out.  J is on a boat, bobbing about in a big ocean somewhere in the world, and the doggies think they have ascended into doggie heaven in the enormous back yard.
I'm a bit shell-shocked.
I have stories for you Peanuts, I mean I have things to tell you people!  But I'm also really trying to get into early bedtimes, since Little Miss has an almost eerie, uncannily precise internal clock and is up hollering "milk!" at exactly 5:50am rain or shine.
But in the meantime.  Here are a few random thoughts since our last chat:

-It is really, really fun to explore a new place.  There is tons of cool stuff here! It's so exciting!
-It is really, really nice to have a good friend here.  It makes life at the moment feel a bit like riding a runaway elevator.  It still feels like falling, but at least there is a floor beneath my feet.
-I miss my friends in Florida.  They rock.
-There is a lot of support in a military community.  Especially during a deployment.  I have had random strangers practically falling all over themselves to give me their liver,  if ever I should need it.
-There is nothing like sisters.  Mine are the best, and that's a whole post of its own.
-The trash does not take itself to the curb.  This has been a really disappointing discovery.
-I am both proud and slightly disturbed by how good I am getting at dealing with cockroaches.
-My kids are the most fun, amazing, fantastic, incredible little people ever. If I had to be stranded on a deserted island (or, less hypothetically, in a foreign suburban jungle) with anyone, I would pick them.
- There's not much sweeter than witnessing the tangible potency of your child's love for Her family.
-There's not too much harder than seeing your child sad and hurting and missing.
-Thank the high heavens for email.
-A good way to cheer up small children is to take them to the park.  And stand on an ant hill. In skinny jeans.  Turns out ants-in-your-pants actually is as funny as it sounds.  If it's your mom's pants, of course. 
-I miss J.
-I can live on not too much, not too fancy.  But coffee is a must.
-"I'll just paint it!" is NEVER as simple as it sounds.
-"I'll do it on my own" is never as scary as it sounds.

Well it's time to get to that early bedtime.  I hope you haven't given up checking in here, because your words and keeping in touch and saying hello mean a lot all the time, but especially now.  It's good to have friends no matter how far-flung they may be; it's good to have a Peanut Gallery to hear from, too.

Healthy Outfit

Little One at the pool-

"Look! Mommy is wearing hers new zucchini!"

In Case You Think She's Nothing BUT Sass

 
Little One: "Mom.  MOOOMMM!!! Oh! Mommy!"

C: "HI Little One. What is it?"

LO: "Oh, Mommy.  You know.  You are the best laundry."

C: "...I...am?"

LO: "Oh yes.  Yes, Mommy, you are the best laundry, and the best cooker.  In ever the whole wide world and Mommy! You is the BEST best mommy in all the whole big world, ever there can be!"

C: "Well thank you!  That was very nice!"

LO: "You are welcomed.  And mommy, I love you so much.  Thank you for laundry, mommy. You make me happy I can wear all my favorite pretty clothes when you clean them for me. You are a nice mommy."
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Little One (at bedtime): "Mommy, you know I love you."
C: "I love you too, Little One."

LO: "But mommy, I love YOU a truck!"

C: "You love me a truck?"

LO: "Yup! No, no! I love you a WHALE! NO! MOMMY! I love YOU a big, BIG DINOSAUR! I love you SIXTEEN! Sixteen dinosaurs!"
C: "Wow! That sounds like a lot."

LO (nodding gravely): "Oh, yes mommy.  I love you much of a sixteen dinosaur, and that is the much as you can get."  

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 Little One (as She's waking up for school): "Mmmmm....mommy! A'morning mommy.  Oh my, mommy.  I was having a dream!"

C: "You were? What kind of dream?"

LO (grinning): "Well, mommy.  Wow.  I was dreaming 'bout mine school.  And mine teachers and friends.  And I dreamed about you and Dada, and Missy and the doggies.  I dreamed our whole family at mine school, and our whole family was together and we all were just.  We just.  We were just all loving our 'chothers very much!"

C: "Wow! That was your dream?"

LO (sighing): "Ooooh, yes! Mommy, mommy.  It was a SWEET dream." 

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Overheard from the next room:

LO: "Missy?  Missy what is a matter?  You are worried to be sad when daddy is on the big boat from Va-gin-ya?"

Miss: "Ahhhhbgub."

LO: "Oh, ok.  Ok.  I see, I unnerstan.  Well, Missy.  Let me tell you.  It's ok because I will still be your sissy in Va-gin-ya and I can take care for you all the time.  And mommy tol' me she doesn't ever run out from hugs for us, and me too! I can have so many hugs for you I will have lots than enough and some kisses too.  To make you feel better.  And in Va-gin-ya if you want to, we can have a sleepover.  So jus' don't cry your baby tears or have any fits, because ever'thing will be jus'.....it will be jus' ok!"

Update From The Wire

Holy cow people.  The countdown is on. 
Less than a week to go and things are a bit crazy around here.
After averaging 13 hours a day of driving around and stalking rental properties, for four days, I finally decided on the first one I saw.  A rigorous comparison study showed it to be the best, and now of course I love it, and have already succumbed to my type A-ness and sketched a scale floorplan of it and penciled in all my furniture.  Unfortunately, the property manager is some kind of a sadist, and refuses to actually send me a lease to sign, despite my continual phone calls ("b-but, you've been saying 'tomorrow' for over a week!") and desperate email in which I begged her not to cause my little family to be homeless when we arrive NEXT WEEK. NEXT WEEK!  Hello, woman, I have no legal place of residence for my children NEXT WEEK and if you think I am crazy by email, wait and see what happens when I am there in person.  NEXT WEEK. 
Ahem. 
But.  Other than that. And the fact that Missy has a 104 degree fever and is (TMI alert) squirting poo on everything, the complete chaos of a partially-packed house and the tangible impending-deployment tension between me and J, other than that. Everything is peachy. 
Since (clearly) we have nothing else going on, we threw a backyard farewell party for a cozy 50 people last weekend which was completely fun and worth the dishes (pictures coming... someday).  I was surprised by a fabulous goodbye brunch from the incredible friends I will be leaving here (sappy emotional post coming...someday).  A talented, generous friend took some precious family photos (coming someday), another is taking us into her home and under her wing for a few days after the movers come. I got to see Little One singing Her sweet heart out with Her class, and Her first ever ballet recital is coming up (photo/sappy post combo...someday). We get to see J get his wings tomorrow, we just had a lovely visit from his parents, and my mom arrives today. 
So you see.  The scariness and the stress and the preemptive missing begins to crash my sanity level to the floor- but just then the sweetness of life and the goodness of friends and family weighs on the other side of my heart-scale.  Balance. 
Life always offers it.  It feels like walking a tightrope at times; even balance can be scary.  But it's a malleable kind of scary; the kind that morphs into and out of excitement by the step.  It's sort of a teetering balance walk- scary, exciting! scary. exciting! and sometimes it's sort of exhausting.  But in my own personal opinion (you might say I belong here in the circus) it's a whole lot better than sitting still. 

Math Has Always Bugged Me

I've been in Virginia looking for a house to hang out in for the next couple of years. It's hard and I miss my kids so much that I can't even enjoy the magical bed in the hotel that makes itself each morning. Ok I enjoy it a LITTLE. But mostly I miss my kids and the way they fry my brain by the end of the day. It's also getting more and more real that soon they will be frying it 24-7. In this suburban jungle devoid of familiar natives. The time J will be far away is stretching out like a yawning canyon we are rolling towards on a runaway train car. It's not that we won't be fine, it's not that I can't do it or make it all work. The thing that's bugging me after a few days away is multiplication. It's the multiplying by months and months how much, in just a few days, I miss him. Maybe it won't be as noticeable, with the fried brain though. Theres always that.

I Have Warehouses Full of These

 Trying to get Missy ready for bed:

Little One: "I JUST SEND FOR TIGER LILLY! I SEND FOR PETER PAN!!!!"
 
C: "Little One, can you please do your beautiful singing more quietly?"

LO: "Sorry Mommy! I'm jus' a person, I wasn't borned wif a volume button!"
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C: "Little One! Time to clean up your books, please!"

Little One (with a sweeping bow): "Ooooohhh, yes.....your MAGIC-STEE!"  
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Playing a game where She told me to ask Her some big riddles:

Little One: "Mommy! These riddles is easy stuff! Ask me some tricky ones!"
 
C: "Tricky ones?! Ok, here's a really tricky one.  What is the meaning of life?"

LO: "Hmm, ok.  Life is like a Big Thing, what cuts down trees. Next one!"

C: "Ok... why do we have to grow up?"

LO: "Because we eat food, silly!"

C: "Ok, how about this one- why do Mommies and Daddies decide to have a bunch of silly children?"

LO: "Oh, Mommy.  Because them LOVES children."
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Little One: "Mommy, is you the boss 'round here?"
C: "Yes. Yes I am."
Little One: "Oh, ok. Ok, you can be the boss in charge mommy."
C: "I know. Thank you."
Little One: "Uh huh....but...well. You is only a tempa-ary boss, like a 'tend kinda boss. The REAL boss is gonna be ME."
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Halfway through a fairy tale:

Little One: "Um....Mommy? Mommy can we skip this part, and some parts.  Maybe we can jus' read another story right now."

C: "Ok, we can do that.  Why would you like to stop the story?"

LO: "Uh, Mommy it has this witch in it and some things...it's getting a bit too scary I think.  Les jus' skip the scary stuff today, and maybe we can read it later.  Maybe we can read this scary story when I'm growed bigger.  I think maybe we can try again when I'm fifteen." 
  -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Little One: "Miss!!!! Miss!! Oh, Missy-miss, what-ever matter?!"

C: "Little One, walk away please. Missy is having a big time-out."

Little One: "Oh! Yay!(dancing and clapping in Miss's general direction)  Yaaaaaaay! Missy is learning the rules!!!
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C: "Little One, you need to clean up your puzzle before you can play jenga."

LO: "Uh..ok....ok Mommy. How bout THIS plan-"

C: "Nope! Stop right there. One game at a time is the rule."

LO(hands on hips): "Mommy! I can't ba-weave this! Please, you are ba-rrupting me, Mommy. Ba-rrupting is not pawite!"

C: "Hmm.... Ok.  You're right, interrupting is not polite.  I apologize for interrupting you. Go ahead."

LO: "OK! Here is a new plan, Mommy, this is the plan.  How 'bout AFTER I can play some jenga, these puzzle is going to stay RIGHT THERE and I'm NOT gonna forget it, mommy, I'm NOT and it will wait patiently right on the floor and then after I can play some Jenga then I will have a snack and then if Missy wants to play jenga too SHE can clean up that and THEN I can clean up the puzzle then, at that time. That's the plan."

C: "You have good plans sometimes, good planning.  But the rule is, one game at a time.  The rule is, we are responsible for our mess. So before you play jenga, you need to clean up the puzzle."LO (dropping Her hands and Her smile, starting to pick up puzzle pieces): "Mommy.  You know I love you sometimes.  But you is having trouble a'having today."
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Fire Station One

Last week Little One's class had their big field trip- to the fire station!  

Especially since Her grampa is a retired fire chief, this was a really cool opportunity. 

We all walked the mile there- a police officer stopped the traffic for us which was a big excitement.

VIP, people.  That's how we roll.

We got there and the kids got to ogle the trucks and get a safety lesson.  

 Then they got to get in and walk through the fire truck- very exciting stuff!  

Little Miss was there too. She really wanted to climb on the shiny truck.

We got to take a tour of the fire house and see the offices, sleeping quarters, kitchen. The firefighters leading our tour were very friendly and involved. Too bad they had the question/answer session in the hang-out room.  Um, yes.  Where you sleep is really amazing and all, but there is a GIANT TV BEHIND YOU.  The kids I talked with remembered nothing from this part except that at one point, there were kitties on the TV.  Little One (who is never allowed to watch actual TV) felt that She had been quite the rebel.  "Mama...I think so you should know that there was TV on in there!...and not easy kid TV...GROWNUP TV!...it easy had kerm-MER-shals!!"  

 The favorite part of the firehouse, by majority vote, was the red hallway.

 Grownup TV, a red light district...this is all seems to be getting a little beyond G -rating. But no, the red light is just to help the firefighters eyes transition when running to a call out of a dead sleep. Clean up those minds Peanuts!  Another big hit was when one of the moms got to dress up in firefighting gear.  At first I was all super impressed that they have to wear 100lb of clothes on a work day, but then I remembered my own job. I'm pretty sure 50lb of kids+the mary-poppins purse+groceries is not too far from that. Besides, those outfits may be hot and heavy- but they don't wiggle!  

Of course, since I typically don't carry that load into a burning building, they still win in cool points.

 The height of the trip was when the kids got to work the firehose themselves! Little One aimed the water at a cone and knocked it down.  Pretty fun!

 In fact it was so fun, that some of the parents couldn't resist giving it a try too.

 At the end all the kids cheered and lined up to walk back.  Little One was straggling, though, staring back at the firemen.  Finally She looked up at me with these plaintive little eyes. I knew what She wanted.  "Ok, Little One. Go ahead. But be quick!"

She ran back over to the guys, shyly thanked them for having us, and then worked up Her courage to ask for what She really wanted. 

 "Um, will you please give me a hug and can I please have a picture wif you also?"

Of course he said yes. When you're a hero, it's all in a days work!

We had a great time and learned a lot of interesting things about fighting fires.  And as fate would have it, the very next day we got to see that firefighting in action! Across the street from us, someone's Porsche started sending up 15 foot flames and we all walked over and stood by the engine to take advantage of a great real-life teaching moment. We got to see them use the hose, the extinguishers, and the crowbar axe!  

The best part for me was getting to point out to my girls that one of the firemen was a firewoman.  

J was worried it might be bad form to stand there staring, but once the fire was out one of the guys walked over, all smiles, to meet the kids and shake their hands.  Little One was star-struck. 

Our unexpectedly extended fieldtrip ended up being very educational.  We learned how to prevent fires, how to react in case one happens, what real fires look like and how damaging they can be.  We learned about a profession and the people who choose it.  And, one of my favorite parts? We learned that there are real-life heroes- right here among us!

And also...

...Heroes-to-be. 

Not Sure What Was More Painful

A couple of days ago, I pulled something in my neck.  It was probably from the bar fight I got into.  Probably the part where I was cracking a chair over this biker dude and screaming, "what now?! WHAT?!"
Ok.
Ok fine.  It was from pushing my kids on a swing.
Which is even more embarrassing than a bar fight, right? Pathetic.
But anyways, it probably could have been more embarrassing.
So I hobbled around- to preschool, to ballet lessons, to the store, the post office, like a toy soldier- ramrod straight, turning my whole body rather than my head (try checking your blind spot like that. It's pretty silly). And occasionally wincing and involuntarily yelping like a tourettes patient. For two days. 
But even so. It wasn't all that embarrassing. So.
My amazing, incredibly generous friend did this amazing, incredibly generous thing and bought me a massage.  "It's non-refundable and it's already done, " she said, "So you can't say no. Go today."
I mean, wow. I have had one massage before; a gift from my mom right before my wedding.  So I was all giddy like any lottery winner, and I showed up early and changed and then it all started.
There was this very peaceful, calming music playing. I think it was a harp or something.  But then at the same time, there was some Amy Winehouse. Some Adele.  Not super relaxing, but, you know, I was like, "hey, I like Adele!" Sort of interesting music taste for a ponytailed man with biceps the size of my head, but you never can tell about people.  Sort of odd to be playing it along with a soundtrack of tinkling water and wind chimes, but maybe that's like his thing. I don't know.  I just went with it.  I don't know how these things go people! It was my second massage ever!
So this goes on for at least 20 minutes. It starts to get kind of annoying. I mean it's just so loud. At which point the guy finally "ahem"s and goes, "um...is that your phone? Are you...expecting a call?...or something?"
I was all confused for a sec and then I realize he's talking about his weird music.
"No! I thought that was yours?!" 
"No, no. It's definitely coming from your purse."
And it was.
Apparently, when I had gone to turn my ringer off- because, you know, having the phone ring during a massage would be really embarrassing and rude- instead I had somehow, somehow turned on Pandora.  Which, honestly, I didn't even know I had on my phone.
How did I do that?!  How am I really that special a person that I can manage to mess up laying still.
I do not know, Peanuts. I do not know.
And really. Did I have to do it while I was in my skivvies with a perfect stranger? Come on now. 
On the upside, I feel about a million times better- I can even shake my head at myself in shame! And besides, it clearly filled my embarrassment quota. At least for the day.  

Mini-thon

Back in February, Little One's school had a fundraiser called the mini-thon.  The kids collected pledges, and ran a mimi-marathon on a playground track.  Little One was very excited for the big day.  She was very specific that Her hair needed a "zig and some zags" like lightning to make Her "really, super, extra fast!"  She arrived ready to race.

The kids all got set at the starting line.  The whistle blew!

 

 And they're off! Just look at them go!! But where is Little One?

Those kids are speedy.  They're onto another lap! But...where is Little One??

 Ooohhhh, wait.  What's that, in the upper-right corner? Just before the STARTING LINE? 

Oh yeah.  It's Little One.  And the other smallest kid in class.  Standing there looking not the slightest bit amused. 

The cheerleading section was confused

Her teacher tried to hold their hands and bring them around the circle.  A hug from mom and a pep-talk from dad were no help.  I ran with Her a few laps....ok I jogged in slo-mo while dragging Her.  Nope. These two conscientiously objected to the overt display of a hyper-competitive culture and the degradation of being made a spectacle of before a public that clearly did not appreciate their talent for standing there and being pretty!  Or.  They just didn't feel like it.  

For all Her theatrics Little One gets a bit of stage fright.  Too many spectators and cheers chase Her back into Her shell.  And this particular friend and Little One are two of a kind.  You can see in the group photo they are still presenting a united front in protest.

Well at least Her cheering section had fun. 

I'll show these ladies how to race!

When you're awesome, you get fans.

 And after the minithoning was over, These little cuties got to participate in an event they were much more interested in.

There's a smile!

 

When it comes to this activity, I assure you, She's a champ. 

Pristapulka

Did you know that the famous Mommy O is Bulgarian? Yep. In Bulgaria, they Pristapulka.  Yes they do! Believe it! And so when Little One was at the right age, just about to walk, Mommy O gave Little One a Pristapulka. She chose a calculator.   

Well, Mommy O is back in Maryland and so when Little Miss was about to really walk, we had to Pristapulka without Her.  But we tried to live up to Mommy O standards! Here's how it went:

In a Pristapulka, we choose lots of different things. Each has to be an object that could represent a profession.  So, a stethoscope (doctor/nurse), a calculator (accounting/math), a plane (pilot), etc.  We tried to get a good range of possibilities. 

We can't let baby see these things. Yet. Then we line them up at eye-level with the fledgling.  We all get ready and hold our breaths! 

Then we turn baby around, and let Her go.  She takes a few wobbly steps over, She surveys the items.  Then She picks one. 

Whatever She chooses first, is said to be the object that represents Her future profession.  Little Miss didn't even hesitate.  She went right for the laptop.  

She was pretty happy with Her choice.  

Then I brought out the round loaf of bread, covered in honey (to make life sweet, I think) and Miss and I held it.  Everyone else grabbed a chunk, ran away, and ate it. 

Because that's part of the tradition! 

Looks like we have a future geek on our hands! Although really, in this day and age? Computers are used in almost every job.  Good going, Missy.  Way to leave your options open! Whatever you do with those comp skills, we know you'll do great things. 

' I am so blogging this!'

A Good Heart

However She does have chronic cute-itis.

 When Little Miss was born, and they came to do Her newborn check up in the hospital, the Doc asked if
he could "borrow" Her.  I said yes, but of course I came along.  He lined up all the med students, residents, and interns, placed Missy in a bassinet in the middle, and said, "who can tell me what's wrong with this baby?" 
30 minutes later I sent J a message to tell him that our family was about to be followed by a SIXTH pediatric specialty team.  We are pretty special. 
Did you know that Little Miss was born with a teeny little hole in Her heart?  Well She was! It really was teeny, and it never bothered Her that we could tell.  Just the same, it was nice to go for Her follow-up appointment awhile back- where She held ever so still for Her echo, good girl- and see that it had closed itself right up so that we don't have to worry about it at all.  And also. Is this not the cutest little tiny hospital gown you have ever seen? Seriously I almost ganked that thing.
I hope that Her heart always mends so easily and so well.

Growing Strong

Since I've begun outsourcing my dairy capabilities recently, we have learned that Miss seems to have a problem with cow's milk.  But She chugs down soy with no issue so it's hardly a big deal.  Not for us, Peanuts!Today Little One asked why Miss wasn't drinking "cow milk" anymore and I told Her we don't think She can have it.  Little One threw a sagacious, protective arm around Her baby sister and said, "Ok Missy.  I can't have that eiver. But we like ours soy milk Missy, yes we do! And I can show you how we drink it, ever you want me to. We can have matchies milk drinks now! That can be so 'citing!"  Franky, the matching is kind of exciting. It makes it easier for me, in some ways.
Sometimes I look at Missy with Her round, round cheeks and squishy thighs and Her smooth, clear skin, and I sigh.  I am so happy for Her, so happy She's so healthy.
Especially around 7 months, which is the age things hit the fan with Little One, I have often found myself playing with or feeding Little Miss and thinking- this is so easy! So fun! This is what it's supposed to be like; just Taking For Granted. 
Peanuts (don't we all know it) it is SO, so nice to have the luxury to take things for granted. 
Little One is OK,  and She certainly broke the Joy Barrier in my life and left it far in the distance.
But for awhile there it felt a bit dicey. 
I remember when we were in North Carolina and She was a scaly, oozing mess of constant, miserable screaming.

I remember all those ER visits, all those needles and needles and needles.

This girl.

Have Epipen Will Travel

This girl is tough.  And I'm proud of Her...but  sometimes I've wished Her infancy had been just a little less character-building.  It makes me so glad that we figured it out; that even though we have challenges that continue to come up, She overall is doing really well.
And that Little Miss, my baby, is somehow miraculously growing and thriving in such a way that if I wasn't all the time reminded of the contrast between Her babyhood and Her sister's, I could very well take things for granted. 

Her one year check up took about 3 minutes.  I don't take that for granted.  I don't want to.  But- kind of like I won't actually eat the whole chocolate cheesecake in my fridge all at once- it's kind of nice to just know that I could.

4-29 and other numbers

3 job changes for him, 3 job changes for me. 3+3.

4 countries and 2 trips across the world and back. 4+2.

5 houses and 1 mortgage. 5+1.

2 dogs. 2 kids. 2 many moves and trips. 2+2+2.

It all equals 6 -years. 

Happy anniversary to us J!

 

6 years ago we had no idea we'd be celebrating with 2 Littles at 5 am, when they woke up early and wanted to snuggle before breakfast.  

But I'm pretty sure we'd have approved.  

Synonym, Homonym, Homophone

One of Little One's favorite games to play is "synonym, homonym, homophone".  She made it up. 
In the game, She tries to come up with two words and decide whether they are synonyms (words with like meanings but different sounds- 'sofa' and 'couch'), homonyms (words with different meanings but the same sound and spelling- 'duck' like a bird and 'duck' like bend down') or homophones (words with different meanings and spellings but the same sound- 'pear' and 'pair').
We've played this game a ton, so now it's fairly common to be engaged in conversation and have Little One suddenly break out with "bare means naked? That's a synonym! And hey! Bare like naked and bear like a animal, bear and bare. A homophone!", or to ask if words like "there and their" are spelled alike so She can classify them appropriately.
Now, Little One is also pretty good at talking (girl gets enough practice, I tell you), but She does have some lingering baby in Her dialect- the tendency to pluralize random things, for instance. The occasional use of "them" instead of "those", that kind of thing.  And although She has developed the ability to pronounce Her "R"s and "L"s correctly (and quite often does), She sometimes still calls Her friend Layla "Waywa" or get "Wiwy" excited.
Yesterday, She was getting ready for Her nap and a light bulb went on over Her head. So She runs to the closet and races back with a broom:

"Mom! Mommy! Guess what I jus' figgered out! A homonym! Sweep! Sweep, and sweep. Homonym!"


She beamed at me, but I was confused.

"Are you thinking of Mary Poppins? Like a chimney sweep and sweep the floor?"

LO: "No, no mom.  Sweep.  Like sweep the floor, and go to sweep. For nap time. Sweep, sweep. Homonym!"

The conversation that followed was too much like "who's on first" for me to remember it all.  It was very confusing.  In the end we got it straightened out and I tucked Her in for nap.  I passed by Her door a few minutes later and peeked in to see Her sitting in front of Her mirror watching Her mouth move and practicing- "Sweep. Sweep. Ssswwwww. No. Luh luh. suh-luh, sssweeep.  Swee-no! Luh. Sw-luh...."  and sighing frustratedly, and trying again.

Oh, sweetie.  You'll get it.  I guess it's just growing pains.  Like a puppy who has to catch up to its ears, some silly things happen when your brain grows faster than your mouth.

Sugar Ray Has Nothing On These Two

So it happened.  April 4, 2012.
Let it go down in history.  Little One and Missy.  Their first.... FIGHT.
Since becoming a domesticated mother (ie- going soft) I no longer join rowdy dudes to drink beer and watch boxing.  But I have siblings in my care, and so I no longer need to!  I have lifetime ringside seats at our newly-constructed Family Stadium.
 Would you like a play-by-play of the inaugural featherweight match?  Here you go:

It begins early- pre-coffee!- in the morning.
*DING*
Little One is sitting down at the kid table with Her oatmeal.
Mmmm.  Yummmy oatmeal.
If this is a ploy to reel in Her opponent, it's working.
Here comes the challenger- the rookie Little Miss- taking a direct approach from the left.
Little One is starting with a verbal defense strategy which is having...no effect! The challenger keeps on coming! Little One is backed into a corner... She is changing Her position... But Missy keeps coming- wait! She's wobbling! She's faltering! But NO!
She's regained Her balance and is quickly encroaching on the oatmeal!
Little One switches to offense.  She ditches the verbal tactic and WHOA!
STUNS Her opponent with a lightning-quick change-up to a physical strategy! That's right! Little One has delivered a push! The ninja-style sweeping-away of Missy's arm makes the arm go wild.  The momentum is incredible!
Little Miss is THROWN off balance and crashes to the floor!
Her lip quivers.  Her fists are clenching. 
It. is. ON. now!!!
Little Miss is regaining Her footing. She is zeroing in on Her target.
Little One as the defending champion may have been a bit overconfident.  She has let down Her guard! Her left arm is completely exposed!
And Here comes Missy at full charge...She's taken hold of the arm! A battle cry has sounded and-
OH! NO! SHE! DIDN'T!
YES She did folks, Miss's teeth have sunken into Her opponent's arm and things are really getting crazy now.
Little One is on Her feet.  Miss is shaken off and has kerplopped onto Her booty.  Little One is assuming a threatening stance. She's aiming! She's winding up! And-
OH! NO! SHE! DIDN'T!
YES She did folks She has delivered a signature Bop squarely on the forehead of Little Miss, causing Her noggin to clunk into the table! Unbelieveable!
But what's this?!
Little Miss has pulled out a secret weapon!  She opens it up- "MMmmmmooooommmmmyyyyyyy!!!!!!!" 
Little One reels back in horror.  She's flailing. She's foundering.  She has no way to counter this intense attack except to attempt to match it Herself-
"MOOOMMMYYY!! MOMMMY OW OW OW!"  
The crying has commenced.  The carnage is incredible- there are tears everywhere! There is snot streaming! There is wailing and gnashing of teeth! How will it end?!?!?!
*DING*
Time is up.
The judge is on scene.  The points are being tallied.
Results are in and it's...... too close to call!  The match is a draw! The opponents are led to their separate corners to take some time out and have their wounds dressed.
What a way to get things started in the brand new Family Stadium. What a fight! What a match!  Get ready, home viewers.  These two scrappers are sure to want a rematch in the future.  Tune in.

Signs I May Be In Over My Head

C: "Little One! You are so big! How did you get so big?!"

LO: "I not kno-ooow!"

C: "HEY! Wait a minute.  Did I tell you you could get so big? I don't remember saying you could get all big like this.  Did I say you were allowed?"

LO (giggling): "Nope.  You did NOT!"

C: "I knew it!"

LO (mischieviously): "But moooo-ooommy.  Guess what I'm GOIN' to!"

C: "(gasp!) You are?!"

LO: "Yes Mommy I'm goin' to get bigger and bigger and get all growed up.  I am!!"

C: "Well. What are you going to do that for?"

LO: "So I can be a growned-up.  And then I'm gonna get married, and I'm gonna give kisses on the mouf! HA!"
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At school pick-up, Little One's teacher pulled me aside. 
"I just have to tell you this story!", she said, obviously struggling to keep a straight face.  Uh oh.
The the story was that on Tuesday, Little One decided that SHE was the teacher.
"We probably should have stopped Her disrupting the class", I was informed, "but we all just stood there because we couldn't believe our own eyes! It was so funny!" Uh oh.
Little One chose a piece of work and called the nearest classmates to order.
"Es'cuse me! Es'cuse me! Come here guys. Children! Children! Let me tell you."
She held the work up in one hand, betwixt Her thumb and forefinger, and with the other hand pointed and gestured to the intricacies of the material while explaining the lesson and interrogating Her pupils. 
"You like this one? You see how it is like this? Claire. Claire, what you think? Yes! Ok! Good job guys."
The teacher (the actual one) said She began by calling over a couple friends, and slowly a crowd began to form, until all the students were in a circle around Little One in the middle of the classroom, attentively learning the "lesson".  Her teacher- who has been there over a decade- said to me, "I've never seen anything like it!"
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The next day, I was pulled aside by Her other teacher.  Little One had been in trouble this time.  First, there was the parachute game at recess (omg didn't you love the parachute game?!) and Little One was assigned to the handle attached to the orange part.  But, orange, you understand, is not pink.  And so Little One folded Her arms.  Stamped a foot (oh yes. She did.), furrowed Her brow, and declared something along the lines of "give me pink or give me death".  So She was relegated to a table at the end of the room.  But She turned up Her nose.  "I'm NOT sitting at that table. It has some smudges on it and it is not my favorite. I choose THIS one."  An assertion soon quashed by Her teacher, who is after all nicknamed "the hammer". 
Rough day.
She had already been pulled aside to "sit with" the third teacher that morning. There is a small loft in Her classroom, with a chair and books, just big enough for one person.  For quiet alone time.  But Little One.  Little One climbed up the stairs, swept Her arms out in true diva style, and began belting out Her favorite jams at the top of Her lungs.  Until She was literally pulled offstage.
Always a critic.
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In the midst of a mutually frustrating "discussion" about what Little One was supposed to wear to school:

Little One: "Mommy, whoa.  Whoa, there. Maybe you didn't see the sign."

C: ..."The what now."

LO: "Yah, the sign.  The sign I made."

C: ...

LO: "(deep, eye rolling sigh) Mom I hanged it up.  You didn't see it? Ok.  Well.  It SAYS, 'three-years-olds is the bosses.  Only threes-years-olds can be the bosses and no other persons can be bosses'.  SO, see mommy.  I am achully in charge here." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
At the store:

Stranger: "Why hello there. Aren't you a nice little girl."

Little One: "T'ank you."

Stranger: "You're welcome! How old are you?"

LO: "I'm three. Next I'm gonna be four.  And then I'm gonna be five, and six, and seven, and eight, and nine, and then TEN!"

Stranger: "Wow.  And what is your name?"

LO: "I'm Little One." (waits expectantly. shrugs.) "Well.  I'm a famous ballerina."

 

1 Year Old!

I have been kind of dreading this post.  Only because somewhere between 10 months and now, there was an explosion in Little Miss's brain, and the synapses in there went spewing and billowing through Her skull at lightning speed.  So much has happened that every time I sit down to record the milestones, I look at the screen.  I hover my fingers over the keys.  I think about what to say.  And I go, "GAH!" and run away.  I can't take the pressure! There is too much to remember and organize into a cohesive statement! GAH!!!But someday She might ask me for like, a scrapbook, or a baby book, or something.  And this little blog is all I will have to offer Her.  So I have to at least try, right?  Especially since there are relatives out there who keep saying things on the phone like "Whoa! Stop right there! She said what? She's talking?!"  And you guys need to know the truth.  About Miss being all Toddlery now. 
So here is my best try, and if it is extremely long-winded (you know, more than usual) then I'm sorry.  You can blame Missy, and Her insane rate of development.  Which, I might note, I did not request.  Here goes:

BODY
Well for one thing, people, She is walking.  And not a wobbly step here and there, no.  Girl is hauling it down the hall with Her sister's possessions in each hand, like Billy the Kid after a train heist.
She walks, She runs, She climbs.  She dances- She all-out, grinning, arms up like "HE-EY!" bounces and shakes Her thang.
With all this new movement has come the taste of Freedom.  And there is no.going.back.  Miss will NOT be kept still or restrained if She can help it.  She will not be carried when others walk. She Houdinis Her way out of every stroller, high chair, and grocery cart seatbelt ever invented.
Which is unfortunate because She is fearless. She wants to jump out of the stroller *while it is moving*. She wants to climb the sofa and then walk off the edge. She wants to dive down stairwells and somersault out of the tub.  This perpetually colorfully bruised child has been caught mid-air too many times to count.  And She just keeps at it. 
But She also uses Her newly myelinated nerves for good. She can roll a ball, catch it, kick it, throw it.  She can build a tower, She can hammer a peg.  She can wash Herself with a cloth, dust the furniture and baseboards, brush Her six teeth, and comb Her own wispy hair.  She can, unfortunately, work a zipper.
And one of the greatest loves of Her life now is art.  She can hold a marker or crayon or pencil and color. She can and will do it for ages.  We have a gallery full of Her masterpieces.
She can drink from a cup (still with some help) and feed Herself with a spoon or fork. Because She can, don't even think of doing it for Her.  Don't even think of helping a little bit.
This is a child who wants to do it Her darn self.  Whatever "it" is.

MIND
Her thinking muscles have bulked up, too.  Little Miss now is light years from where She was two months ago.  She is learning like crazy and thirsting for more.
Miss was never hugely into books, unless they were the tactile kind.  Or made tactile by chewing them.  Until one day we read a counting book.  After that, She started taking my finger and pointing it to similar objects on a page.  She wanted me to count.  Now we point and count no matter what we read.  We count toys and we count spoons and we count all the time.  It's interesting that Little One the bookworm always glazed over when it came to counting, but Little Miss LOVES to count and gets bored by naming objects or colors.
She is into animals, though, and also loves to go through books of animals to hear the sounds they make.  She has quite the repertoire built up, and in fact names many animals by their sound.   For example when She sees a cat She will call it a "meow-meow".
She's developed a love for books in general and will ask to read or bring a book and climb into my lap.  If it ever gets suddenly, ominously quiet in the house, Miss can usually be found in Her room, surrounded by books, studiously turning pages.  
She hears and understands practically everything.  She knows how to follow instructions like "clean up those toys", "Put all the pieces in the box", "go get your shoe and bring it to mommy", "let go of your sister's hair", "give sister a hug and kiss".
She's communicating quite a bit Herself.  She knows a lot of baby signs and words (I'm listing them below for my own memory) and can use a couple small phrases like "More milk" or "all done drink".
She most certainly knows how to say "no".  She will trip over a block on the floor, turn to it and sternly shake Her index finger at it, "No, no! No, NO!"  If She knows She's not supposed to have/touch something, She will tell it off for tempting Her.  "No, no!" She shakes Her finger at the computer cord or Her sister's lunch, "No."  But when answering a question in the negative, Her response is typically less formal.  "Do you want a snack now, Missy?"  "Uh, nope."
She loves games like peek-a-boo, pat-a-cake, and songs with motions. She's beginning to pretend; making me elaborate meals in the play-kitchen and rocking and bottle-feeding the baby-doll.
She can point to Her body parts when asked, and knows which clothing items go where.  If only they would get on by smooshing them onto the right spot, She would be dressing Herself. 
Thanks to Her older sister, Miss also understands the basic concepts of "share", "trade", and "mine".  For better or for worse. 

SPIRIT
No doubt, Little Miss still lives up to Her nickname- Smiley.  She is a happy, carefree, sweet-natured little thing.  She's nothing but love and grins, that girl. 
Unless. You cross Her.
Then look out! Little Miss is a gal that knows Her own mind, that likes things a certain way, and doesn't stand for nonsense. 
She is still rather a stickler for a punctual schedule, and if kept waiting for a meal or, especially, a nap, the wide world will know Her pain.  By Her own mandate, then, She is still taking two naps- at 9am and 1pm.  Sharp, if you please.  She sleeps from 7:30/8pm until 6/6:30am.  And is such a morning person that it hurts my un-caffeinated brain. 
She's quite independent.  She will entertain Herself for long stretches, and help Herself within the full extent of Her ability; only asking for Help if She has tried every last thing She can think of first.  In this way She has made many discoveries, like how to take the lids off of markers (no good) and how to put them back on (when She feels like it).  She wonders the (child-proofed!) house with the freedom of a second-born and is really mortally offended if Her explorations are restricted by someone closing a door. 
She is a hybrid- a cross between a social butterfly and a queen bee, always wanting to be in the middle of everything.  She has an inexhaustible supply of smiles, waves, and salutations for the masses.  While She will flirtatiously hide Her face in my shoulder, and always boomerang back to me, She is perfectly happy to go up to almost anyone for a hug or just an in-your-face grin, and then give the beauty-queen wave and coo "bah-bah" like a Southern Belle. 
She wants very, very much to do whatever Her sister is doing, especially if sister's friends are involved.  Little One is generally happy to include Her, but the times when She isn't the look on Missy's face breaks my heart into teeny tiny pieces.
Something relatively new for Little Miss is Her metamorphosis into a super affectionate little person.  She was never as snuggly as Her predecessor, until the last couple of months.  Now She loves to hug, cuddle, and trade kisses.  She frequently walks up to Her sister and lays Her head on Little One's shoulder or lap, sighing "aawwww!" and then going for a big hug and planting a "Mmmuah!" on Little One's cheek.  She never misses out on telling all of us "buh-buh" and giving hugs and kisses when we leave for work/school/yoga class, and never forgets to say "night-night" with hugs and kisses either.  Throughout the day while we are at home, She asks me to pick Her up and says "Mama" while signing for "more". It's Her way of telling me She wants me to just hold Her tight while She hugs me for awhile.  When J or Little One get home from work/school, Little Miss is instantly electrified.  She wriggles with glee, She chirps their name, She holds Her arms out for the hug She just knows is coming. When we walk to pick Little One up from school, Miss is often bouncing in Her seat repeating "Sissy! Sissy! Sissy!" all the way.  
Because Her sister is truly Her best friend.  While they have begun to compete for attention or objects at times, and to occasionally bug each other, by and large they are each other's biggest fans and have a relationship which is amazing to watch developing. 

FAVORITES

Animal:
Duck.  She's obsessed with ducks.  She knows the name, the sign, and the sound for "duck", and goes wild with all three whenever She sees one.  When we see something yellow we must investigate it to see if it might be a duck.  She has a few of Her own toy ducks, which She visits periodically during the day, rocking, hugging, kissing, and talking to them.  "Hi duck! Aww.  Aww, quack-quack.  Muuuaaah!!"

Food:
SALMON.  I have to capitalize that, to show the immensity of Little Miss's love for SALMON.  The child can eat as much of it as I can, and that is no joke.  She will eat it any day, any time, in a box with a fox on a train in the rain.  SALMON. 
She also loves: All fruit, broccoli, raw carrots, tomatoes (with a passion), rice, oatmeal, rice-cakes, raisins, shredded wheat, edamame, lima beans, peas, milk of any variety, whatever you are having.
She is not so hot on: avocado (don't try to hide it in something else. She knows.), bread, anything She can't feed Herself.
Some things She either loves or hates, depending on the day: Kale, brussel sprouts, tofu, meat/chicken, lettuce, lemons. 
Everything else She has tried so far is ok. She likes it, She'll eat it.  But the above She has a serious opinion about. 


Activities:
Coloring (top of the list), banging the piano, playing with a phone or ipad, walking, playing in dirt, baths, stacking anything, sliding, climbing, cuddling, sitting with a pile of mardi gras beads and putting them ALL on, one at a time, following Little One around, drinking from a straw. Giggling. 

Shoes:
Deserves it's own category.  I think it was Her next actual word, after "more".  Little Miss love love love love LOVES shoes.  We keep ours in the entry closet because we take them off when we come in.  We must be on guard that the closet door is not ajar, or Miss will sneak in there and gather them all to Her in a splendid horde of shoe opulence. We will find Her, the eye in a jumbled hurricane of shoes, picking them up one at a time.  She holds it in front of Her like a religious artifact and ogles it- "Ooooohhhh". She gives it a hug, or rubs it lovingly on Her cheek.  She holds it up to Her foot, as if for size, then tries to put it on, chanting, "Shhooooesh! Shoooeeesh! Shoooooeeesshhh!" 
She points out strangers shoes, She shows off Her own.  She leads me to the closet door and presses Herself against it, looking up at me imploringly, signing for "more", and whispering longingly, "Shoooooeeeeshh!"

Music:
She has a strong predilection for rock and roll, particularly of the old school variety.  Much as the broadway musical station has become a Pandora regular for us thanks to Little One, the Blues Brothers channel is there for Little Miss to rock out to.  "Johnny Be Good" is a particular favorite. 

UNFAVORITES
Getting wet outside the tub.  The ocean, for instance, is not fun. 
Vacuum cleaners.  The roomba, especially.  They terrify Her.
Sudden, loud noises. Like a knock on the door, a passing motorcycle, or Little One jumping out from behind the sofa hollering, "76 TROM-BONES IN-A BIG PARADE!!!"
Bibs.  I've pretty much given up.
Hats. Hoods, especially. 
The unlicensed use of Her copyrighted word "no". 

STATS:

Body Parts She can point to:
eyes, ears, nose, mouth, teeth, tongue, hair, arms, hands, feet, toes, and tummy

Signs that She knows and uses:
More, all done, eat/food, thirsty/drink, milk, sleepy, diaper change, potty, book, up, share, duck, butterfly, bear, bird, baby.  She has made up Her own signs for mommy and sister. 

Words:
Mommy, Dada, Sissy, more, all done, yum-yum, drink, milk, fish, dog, meow-meow (cat), tweet-tweet (bird), beep-beep (nose. because ours beep when She pushes them.), voom (car), duck, yep, nope, no, go, up, down, hi, bye-bye, night-night, this, that, book, shoes, help, blue, green. And a word I can't make out which means "I want that" but sounds like "aaaahh-m-doh". 

People Wrapped Tightly Around Her Finger (In order):
Daddy, Sister and Mommy, Rest of the world. 


CONCLUSION OF THESIS:

Whew.  I never thought I'd get enough time with both my laptop and lap to myself to get all that down.  Still, I'm sure I've left stuff out.  But I hope this long, long post will help me remember in another fast-paced year or 20 what Little Miss was like at one adorable year.
Overall She is a person who lights up a room like a searchlight-sized bulb.  She's extremely fun to be around, and She melts my heart about a hundred times a day.  She's busy, busy, busy, learning everything She can, loving everyone as much as possible, and growing into an amazing little girl.  What a difference a year makes! In Little Miss, and in all of our lives as well.   
We love you Little Miss! 

The Pause Between Poses

I still have to complete my teaching hours before I get my certificate. And I'm many miles from being some kind of expert.  But last month I completed training to be a basic-level yoga teacher! It's something I'm pretty excited about.  I've done yoga off and on for many years, and always liked it.  But in the past few years, especially since moving here and joining a perfectly awesome studio practice, yoga has become really important to me.  Now I go to the studio every chance I have; I practice by myself at home.  I get pretty cranky if I miss too many days.
For me, yoga is a religious thing; I do a lot of praying on my mat.
It's a spiritual thing; the only time I am ever, ever able to Just Be.
It's a mental thing; remembering what comes next and how to get there, using spacial awareness and balance... a time out from helter-skelter, multi-tasking life to remind my brain how to be focused. 
And of course, it's a very physical thing.  Stretching out the stiffness of the eternally repetitive motions of bending and lifting and toting small children, pushing mops and vacuum cleaners, hauling loads of laundry. Challenging myself to be stronger, working to make myself healthier, because my family needs to me to be Able. 
Through hugs and kisses and pregnancies and nursing and work I have shared my body with my husband and children in many ways- but it is still mine. I live here.  When I do yoga I feel like I am stretching myself back into my own shape, stretching to fit into my skin.  Making little adjustments and improvements here and there like doing maintenance on a house. Yoga feels like making myself at home in my muscles and bones, making it feel like mine. 
And the act of doing something so very basic- moving, being still, remembering to breathe- often helps me to regain a sense of perspective when I start to lose it. 
In yoga we go through a vinyasa; a purposeful flow of movements, a breath for each one.
Last night my teacher told us about a friend going through a hard time, a big change, who said of the experience, "It's like a vinyasa, and this is the pause between poses". 
I love that.  A reminder that life is a flow of events, too.  That we can't stay in one position forever; we would get bored, our strength would give out.  And there is something Next.
Sometimes, the transition between one position and the next can be tricky or uncomfortable.  It may take a lot of strength, balance, and stretching ourselves to get there.  But we do. 
Lately I've been needing yoga more than ever.  For one thing, our time here in Florida is drawing very quickly to a close.  Just days ago we found out that we will be moving back to the East Coast, this time to Virginia.  *In six weeks.*  That is, the kids and dogs and stuff and I will be moving to Virginia.  J...  well.  J will be moving to the ocean.  He is being deployed onto an aircraft carrier, and will be gone by then.
There are big changes coming.  A new town, a new house, a new school.  A new life.  It is our first deployment.  The reality of what all that means has just begun sinking in for me, and in the litany of emotions bouncing around my heart at the moment, overwhelmed might be the most summative.
I've been hitting that yoga mat with a fury. 
But I know that we can ride out these last few weeks.  I know that once we get there we will all be fine.  We will make it work; we will make it wonderful! This period between what we have and what we're heading for is a little scary, I have to admit it.  But, you know.  It's just like a vinyasa.  And this is the pause between poses. 

Letting Her

While eating dinner, J and I were commiserating over Little Miss's INTENSE independent streak and Her new, very hard-core insistence that She will ONLY eat food if She feeds HERSELF...with a fork or spoon.  Otherwise known as a "catapult".
We were trying to do it for Her (rejected) to just get it over with without coating all four walls with rice (lazy), and simultaneously attempting to feed ourselves (to go for the double-fail), when Little One (the constant observer) piped up.

"Hey guys? If you just will let Her do it Herself, She will do it."

If we'd just let Her do for Herself, She would.
Something we know, something we believe. Something we were much better about respecting when there was just the one catapult to clean up after.  But, nonetheless.  Something that is true.

Sheepishly, we followed the three-year-old's advice.  We let go of the spoon.  We let go of the clean walls.  We let Her go.

And Little Miss?  Dipped that silver tool into Her lima beans and fed Herself.

There was some mess, true.  But.  Everyone got fed (even us).  Everyone was happy (even us).  And Missy practiced something that She needs to know how to do, that She wants to know how to do.  That She deserves to do Herself.

To me, this is another reminder of the wisdom of children, and also of the balance of life.  Sure, with the first kiddo we were more careful to do some of the things we "should" than we are with this second Little.  But.  If we do slack off a bit this time around...well.  We always have number one to get us back in line.

Church-Isms

Today in Church:

Little One: "Mom! Pssst! Mooom! Mommy. NO."
C: "Little One! Shh.  What is the matter?"
LO: "Mommy.  You're getting to trouble! You can't sleep in church mommy!"
C: "Ah.  Little One it's ok.  I'm not sleeping.  I'm praying". 
LO (with a sarcasm far too cultivated for Her age): "Uh-huh.  Well.  Yours eyes was closed.  I sawed them."

And then there is Little Miss.  Little Miss tolerates Catholic Mass for one reason.
There is the part, after communion, where we are all asked to "offer each other a sign of Christ's peace".  Which basically means, say hi to the folks around you.  The custom is to shake hands and say "peace be with you".  Often abbreviated to "peace".
Little Miss LOVES this.  LOVES.  Because She is the flutteriest of social butterflies.  And at this part She gets to wave, coo, grin, chortle, and shake hands with as many people as She can bat Her eyelashes at in the allotted time. 
But church is not a social hour, Peanuts, no!  And today Miss finally put it all together, and grasped the deeper meaning of this special moment in Mass. 
As our fellow parishioners said to Her, "Peace", a light was ignited in Miss's batting-lashed eyes and She excitedly showed off Her understading with Her newly acquired sign language-
"Please!" She signed to everyone around Her.  "Please please!"
She might have wondered what they were all asking for.