In Case You Think She's Nothing BUT Sass

 
Little One: "Mom.  MOOOMMM!!! Oh! Mommy!"

C: "HI Little One. What is it?"

LO: "Oh, Mommy.  You know.  You are the best laundry."

C: "...I...am?"

LO: "Oh yes.  Yes, Mommy, you are the best laundry, and the best cooker.  In ever the whole wide world and Mommy! You is the BEST best mommy in all the whole big world, ever there can be!"

C: "Well thank you!  That was very nice!"

LO: "You are welcomed.  And mommy, I love you so much.  Thank you for laundry, mommy. You make me happy I can wear all my favorite pretty clothes when you clean them for me. You are a nice mommy."
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Little One (at bedtime): "Mommy, you know I love you."
C: "I love you too, Little One."

LO: "But mommy, I love YOU a truck!"

C: "You love me a truck?"

LO: "Yup! No, no! I love you a WHALE! NO! MOMMY! I love YOU a big, BIG DINOSAUR! I love you SIXTEEN! Sixteen dinosaurs!"
C: "Wow! That sounds like a lot."

LO (nodding gravely): "Oh, yes mommy.  I love you much of a sixteen dinosaur, and that is the much as you can get."  

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 Little One (as She's waking up for school): "Mmmmm....mommy! A'morning mommy.  Oh my, mommy.  I was having a dream!"

C: "You were? What kind of dream?"

LO (grinning): "Well, mommy.  Wow.  I was dreaming 'bout mine school.  And mine teachers and friends.  And I dreamed about you and Dada, and Missy and the doggies.  I dreamed our whole family at mine school, and our whole family was together and we all were just.  We just.  We were just all loving our 'chothers very much!"

C: "Wow! That was your dream?"

LO (sighing): "Ooooh, yes! Mommy, mommy.  It was a SWEET dream." 

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Overheard from the next room:

LO: "Missy?  Missy what is a matter?  You are worried to be sad when daddy is on the big boat from Va-gin-ya?"

Miss: "Ahhhhbgub."

LO: "Oh, ok.  Ok.  I see, I unnerstan.  Well, Missy.  Let me tell you.  It's ok because I will still be your sissy in Va-gin-ya and I can take care for you all the time.  And mommy tol' me she doesn't ever run out from hugs for us, and me too! I can have so many hugs for you I will have lots than enough and some kisses too.  To make you feel better.  And in Va-gin-ya if you want to, we can have a sleepover.  So jus' don't cry your baby tears or have any fits, because ever'thing will be jus'.....it will be jus' ok!"

Update From The Wire

Holy cow people.  The countdown is on. 
Less than a week to go and things are a bit crazy around here.
After averaging 13 hours a day of driving around and stalking rental properties, for four days, I finally decided on the first one I saw.  A rigorous comparison study showed it to be the best, and now of course I love it, and have already succumbed to my type A-ness and sketched a scale floorplan of it and penciled in all my furniture.  Unfortunately, the property manager is some kind of a sadist, and refuses to actually send me a lease to sign, despite my continual phone calls ("b-but, you've been saying 'tomorrow' for over a week!") and desperate email in which I begged her not to cause my little family to be homeless when we arrive NEXT WEEK. NEXT WEEK!  Hello, woman, I have no legal place of residence for my children NEXT WEEK and if you think I am crazy by email, wait and see what happens when I am there in person.  NEXT WEEK. 
Ahem. 
But.  Other than that. And the fact that Missy has a 104 degree fever and is (TMI alert) squirting poo on everything, the complete chaos of a partially-packed house and the tangible impending-deployment tension between me and J, other than that. Everything is peachy. 
Since (clearly) we have nothing else going on, we threw a backyard farewell party for a cozy 50 people last weekend which was completely fun and worth the dishes (pictures coming... someday).  I was surprised by a fabulous goodbye brunch from the incredible friends I will be leaving here (sappy emotional post coming...someday).  A talented, generous friend took some precious family photos (coming someday), another is taking us into her home and under her wing for a few days after the movers come. I got to see Little One singing Her sweet heart out with Her class, and Her first ever ballet recital is coming up (photo/sappy post combo...someday). We get to see J get his wings tomorrow, we just had a lovely visit from his parents, and my mom arrives today. 
So you see.  The scariness and the stress and the preemptive missing begins to crash my sanity level to the floor- but just then the sweetness of life and the goodness of friends and family weighs on the other side of my heart-scale.  Balance. 
Life always offers it.  It feels like walking a tightrope at times; even balance can be scary.  But it's a malleable kind of scary; the kind that morphs into and out of excitement by the step.  It's sort of a teetering balance walk- scary, exciting! scary. exciting! and sometimes it's sort of exhausting.  But in my own personal opinion (you might say I belong here in the circus) it's a whole lot better than sitting still. 

Math Has Always Bugged Me

I've been in Virginia looking for a house to hang out in for the next couple of years. It's hard and I miss my kids so much that I can't even enjoy the magical bed in the hotel that makes itself each morning. Ok I enjoy it a LITTLE. But mostly I miss my kids and the way they fry my brain by the end of the day. It's also getting more and more real that soon they will be frying it 24-7. In this suburban jungle devoid of familiar natives. The time J will be far away is stretching out like a yawning canyon we are rolling towards on a runaway train car. It's not that we won't be fine, it's not that I can't do it or make it all work. The thing that's bugging me after a few days away is multiplication. It's the multiplying by months and months how much, in just a few days, I miss him. Maybe it won't be as noticeable, with the fried brain though. Theres always that.

I Have Warehouses Full of These

 Trying to get Missy ready for bed:

Little One: "I JUST SEND FOR TIGER LILLY! I SEND FOR PETER PAN!!!!"
 
C: "Little One, can you please do your beautiful singing more quietly?"

LO: "Sorry Mommy! I'm jus' a person, I wasn't borned wif a volume button!"
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C: "Little One! Time to clean up your books, please!"

Little One (with a sweeping bow): "Ooooohhh, yes.....your MAGIC-STEE!"  
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Playing a game where She told me to ask Her some big riddles:

Little One: "Mommy! These riddles is easy stuff! Ask me some tricky ones!"
 
C: "Tricky ones?! Ok, here's a really tricky one.  What is the meaning of life?"

LO: "Hmm, ok.  Life is like a Big Thing, what cuts down trees. Next one!"

C: "Ok... why do we have to grow up?"

LO: "Because we eat food, silly!"

C: "Ok, how about this one- why do Mommies and Daddies decide to have a bunch of silly children?"

LO: "Oh, Mommy.  Because them LOVES children."
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Little One: "Mommy, is you the boss 'round here?"
C: "Yes. Yes I am."
Little One: "Oh, ok. Ok, you can be the boss in charge mommy."
C: "I know. Thank you."
Little One: "Uh huh....but...well. You is only a tempa-ary boss, like a 'tend kinda boss. The REAL boss is gonna be ME."
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Halfway through a fairy tale:

Little One: "Um....Mommy? Mommy can we skip this part, and some parts.  Maybe we can jus' read another story right now."

C: "Ok, we can do that.  Why would you like to stop the story?"

LO: "Uh, Mommy it has this witch in it and some things...it's getting a bit too scary I think.  Les jus' skip the scary stuff today, and maybe we can read it later.  Maybe we can read this scary story when I'm growed bigger.  I think maybe we can try again when I'm fifteen." 
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Little One: "Miss!!!! Miss!! Oh, Missy-miss, what-ever matter?!"

C: "Little One, walk away please. Missy is having a big time-out."

Little One: "Oh! Yay!(dancing and clapping in Miss's general direction)  Yaaaaaaay! Missy is learning the rules!!!
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C: "Little One, you need to clean up your puzzle before you can play jenga."

LO: "Uh..ok....ok Mommy. How bout THIS plan-"

C: "Nope! Stop right there. One game at a time is the rule."

LO(hands on hips): "Mommy! I can't ba-weave this! Please, you are ba-rrupting me, Mommy. Ba-rrupting is not pawite!"

C: "Hmm.... Ok.  You're right, interrupting is not polite.  I apologize for interrupting you. Go ahead."

LO: "OK! Here is a new plan, Mommy, this is the plan.  How 'bout AFTER I can play some jenga, these puzzle is going to stay RIGHT THERE and I'm NOT gonna forget it, mommy, I'm NOT and it will wait patiently right on the floor and then after I can play some Jenga then I will have a snack and then if Missy wants to play jenga too SHE can clean up that and THEN I can clean up the puzzle then, at that time. That's the plan."

C: "You have good plans sometimes, good planning.  But the rule is, one game at a time.  The rule is, we are responsible for our mess. So before you play jenga, you need to clean up the puzzle."LO (dropping Her hands and Her smile, starting to pick up puzzle pieces): "Mommy.  You know I love you sometimes.  But you is having trouble a'having today."
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Fire Station One

Last week Little One's class had their big field trip- to the fire station!  

Especially since Her grampa is a retired fire chief, this was a really cool opportunity. 

We all walked the mile there- a police officer stopped the traffic for us which was a big excitement.

VIP, people.  That's how we roll.

We got there and the kids got to ogle the trucks and get a safety lesson.  

 Then they got to get in and walk through the fire truck- very exciting stuff!  

Little Miss was there too. She really wanted to climb on the shiny truck.

We got to take a tour of the fire house and see the offices, sleeping quarters, kitchen. The firefighters leading our tour were very friendly and involved. Too bad they had the question/answer session in the hang-out room.  Um, yes.  Where you sleep is really amazing and all, but there is a GIANT TV BEHIND YOU.  The kids I talked with remembered nothing from this part except that at one point, there were kitties on the TV.  Little One (who is never allowed to watch actual TV) felt that She had been quite the rebel.  "Mama...I think so you should know that there was TV on in there!...and not easy kid TV...GROWNUP TV!...it easy had kerm-MER-shals!!"  

 The favorite part of the firehouse, by majority vote, was the red hallway.

 Grownup TV, a red light district...this is all seems to be getting a little beyond G -rating. But no, the red light is just to help the firefighters eyes transition when running to a call out of a dead sleep. Clean up those minds Peanuts!  Another big hit was when one of the moms got to dress up in firefighting gear.  At first I was all super impressed that they have to wear 100lb of clothes on a work day, but then I remembered my own job. I'm pretty sure 50lb of kids+the mary-poppins purse+groceries is not too far from that. Besides, those outfits may be hot and heavy- but they don't wiggle!  

Of course, since I typically don't carry that load into a burning building, they still win in cool points.

 The height of the trip was when the kids got to work the firehose themselves! Little One aimed the water at a cone and knocked it down.  Pretty fun!

 In fact it was so fun, that some of the parents couldn't resist giving it a try too.

 At the end all the kids cheered and lined up to walk back.  Little One was straggling, though, staring back at the firemen.  Finally She looked up at me with these plaintive little eyes. I knew what She wanted.  "Ok, Little One. Go ahead. But be quick!"

She ran back over to the guys, shyly thanked them for having us, and then worked up Her courage to ask for what She really wanted. 

 "Um, will you please give me a hug and can I please have a picture wif you also?"

Of course he said yes. When you're a hero, it's all in a days work!

We had a great time and learned a lot of interesting things about fighting fires.  And as fate would have it, the very next day we got to see that firefighting in action! Across the street from us, someone's Porsche started sending up 15 foot flames and we all walked over and stood by the engine to take advantage of a great real-life teaching moment. We got to see them use the hose, the extinguishers, and the crowbar axe!  

The best part for me was getting to point out to my girls that one of the firemen was a firewoman.  

J was worried it might be bad form to stand there staring, but once the fire was out one of the guys walked over, all smiles, to meet the kids and shake their hands.  Little One was star-struck. 

Our unexpectedly extended fieldtrip ended up being very educational.  We learned how to prevent fires, how to react in case one happens, what real fires look like and how damaging they can be.  We learned about a profession and the people who choose it.  And, one of my favorite parts? We learned that there are real-life heroes- right here among us!

And also...

...Heroes-to-be. 

Not Sure What Was More Painful

A couple of days ago, I pulled something in my neck.  It was probably from the bar fight I got into.  Probably the part where I was cracking a chair over this biker dude and screaming, "what now?! WHAT?!"
Ok.
Ok fine.  It was from pushing my kids on a swing.
Which is even more embarrassing than a bar fight, right? Pathetic.
But anyways, it probably could have been more embarrassing.
So I hobbled around- to preschool, to ballet lessons, to the store, the post office, like a toy soldier- ramrod straight, turning my whole body rather than my head (try checking your blind spot like that. It's pretty silly). And occasionally wincing and involuntarily yelping like a tourettes patient. For two days. 
But even so. It wasn't all that embarrassing. So.
My amazing, incredibly generous friend did this amazing, incredibly generous thing and bought me a massage.  "It's non-refundable and it's already done, " she said, "So you can't say no. Go today."
I mean, wow. I have had one massage before; a gift from my mom right before my wedding.  So I was all giddy like any lottery winner, and I showed up early and changed and then it all started.
There was this very peaceful, calming music playing. I think it was a harp or something.  But then at the same time, there was some Amy Winehouse. Some Adele.  Not super relaxing, but, you know, I was like, "hey, I like Adele!" Sort of interesting music taste for a ponytailed man with biceps the size of my head, but you never can tell about people.  Sort of odd to be playing it along with a soundtrack of tinkling water and wind chimes, but maybe that's like his thing. I don't know.  I just went with it.  I don't know how these things go people! It was my second massage ever!
So this goes on for at least 20 minutes. It starts to get kind of annoying. I mean it's just so loud. At which point the guy finally "ahem"s and goes, "um...is that your phone? Are you...expecting a call?...or something?"
I was all confused for a sec and then I realize he's talking about his weird music.
"No! I thought that was yours?!" 
"No, no. It's definitely coming from your purse."
And it was.
Apparently, when I had gone to turn my ringer off- because, you know, having the phone ring during a massage would be really embarrassing and rude- instead I had somehow, somehow turned on Pandora.  Which, honestly, I didn't even know I had on my phone.
How did I do that?!  How am I really that special a person that I can manage to mess up laying still.
I do not know, Peanuts. I do not know.
And really. Did I have to do it while I was in my skivvies with a perfect stranger? Come on now. 
On the upside, I feel about a million times better- I can even shake my head at myself in shame! And besides, it clearly filled my embarrassment quota. At least for the day.  

Mini-thon

Back in February, Little One's school had a fundraiser called the mini-thon.  The kids collected pledges, and ran a mimi-marathon on a playground track.  Little One was very excited for the big day.  She was very specific that Her hair needed a "zig and some zags" like lightning to make Her "really, super, extra fast!"  She arrived ready to race.

The kids all got set at the starting line.  The whistle blew!

 

 And they're off! Just look at them go!! But where is Little One?

Those kids are speedy.  They're onto another lap! But...where is Little One??

 Ooohhhh, wait.  What's that, in the upper-right corner? Just before the STARTING LINE? 

Oh yeah.  It's Little One.  And the other smallest kid in class.  Standing there looking not the slightest bit amused. 

The cheerleading section was confused

Her teacher tried to hold their hands and bring them around the circle.  A hug from mom and a pep-talk from dad were no help.  I ran with Her a few laps....ok I jogged in slo-mo while dragging Her.  Nope. These two conscientiously objected to the overt display of a hyper-competitive culture and the degradation of being made a spectacle of before a public that clearly did not appreciate their talent for standing there and being pretty!  Or.  They just didn't feel like it.  

For all Her theatrics Little One gets a bit of stage fright.  Too many spectators and cheers chase Her back into Her shell.  And this particular friend and Little One are two of a kind.  You can see in the group photo they are still presenting a united front in protest.

Well at least Her cheering section had fun. 

I'll show these ladies how to race!

When you're awesome, you get fans.

 And after the minithoning was over, These little cuties got to participate in an event they were much more interested in.

There's a smile!

 

When it comes to this activity, I assure you, She's a champ. 

Pristapulka

Did you know that the famous Mommy O is Bulgarian? Yep. In Bulgaria, they Pristapulka.  Yes they do! Believe it! And so when Little One was at the right age, just about to walk, Mommy O gave Little One a Pristapulka. She chose a calculator.   

Well, Mommy O is back in Maryland and so when Little Miss was about to really walk, we had to Pristapulka without Her.  But we tried to live up to Mommy O standards! Here's how it went:

In a Pristapulka, we choose lots of different things. Each has to be an object that could represent a profession.  So, a stethoscope (doctor/nurse), a calculator (accounting/math), a plane (pilot), etc.  We tried to get a good range of possibilities. 

We can't let baby see these things. Yet. Then we line them up at eye-level with the fledgling.  We all get ready and hold our breaths! 

Then we turn baby around, and let Her go.  She takes a few wobbly steps over, She surveys the items.  Then She picks one. 

Whatever She chooses first, is said to be the object that represents Her future profession.  Little Miss didn't even hesitate.  She went right for the laptop.  

She was pretty happy with Her choice.  

Then I brought out the round loaf of bread, covered in honey (to make life sweet, I think) and Miss and I held it.  Everyone else grabbed a chunk, ran away, and ate it. 

Because that's part of the tradition! 

Looks like we have a future geek on our hands! Although really, in this day and age? Computers are used in almost every job.  Good going, Missy.  Way to leave your options open! Whatever you do with those comp skills, we know you'll do great things. 

' I am so blogging this!'

A Good Heart

However She does have chronic cute-itis.

 When Little Miss was born, and they came to do Her newborn check up in the hospital, the Doc asked if
he could "borrow" Her.  I said yes, but of course I came along.  He lined up all the med students, residents, and interns, placed Missy in a bassinet in the middle, and said, "who can tell me what's wrong with this baby?" 
30 minutes later I sent J a message to tell him that our family was about to be followed by a SIXTH pediatric specialty team.  We are pretty special. 
Did you know that Little Miss was born with a teeny little hole in Her heart?  Well She was! It really was teeny, and it never bothered Her that we could tell.  Just the same, it was nice to go for Her follow-up appointment awhile back- where She held ever so still for Her echo, good girl- and see that it had closed itself right up so that we don't have to worry about it at all.  And also. Is this not the cutest little tiny hospital gown you have ever seen? Seriously I almost ganked that thing.
I hope that Her heart always mends so easily and so well.

Growing Strong

Since I've begun outsourcing my dairy capabilities recently, we have learned that Miss seems to have a problem with cow's milk.  But She chugs down soy with no issue so it's hardly a big deal.  Not for us, Peanuts!Today Little One asked why Miss wasn't drinking "cow milk" anymore and I told Her we don't think She can have it.  Little One threw a sagacious, protective arm around Her baby sister and said, "Ok Missy.  I can't have that eiver. But we like ours soy milk Missy, yes we do! And I can show you how we drink it, ever you want me to. We can have matchies milk drinks now! That can be so 'citing!"  Franky, the matching is kind of exciting. It makes it easier for me, in some ways.
Sometimes I look at Missy with Her round, round cheeks and squishy thighs and Her smooth, clear skin, and I sigh.  I am so happy for Her, so happy She's so healthy.
Especially around 7 months, which is the age things hit the fan with Little One, I have often found myself playing with or feeding Little Miss and thinking- this is so easy! So fun! This is what it's supposed to be like; just Taking For Granted. 
Peanuts (don't we all know it) it is SO, so nice to have the luxury to take things for granted. 
Little One is OK,  and She certainly broke the Joy Barrier in my life and left it far in the distance.
But for awhile there it felt a bit dicey. 
I remember when we were in North Carolina and She was a scaly, oozing mess of constant, miserable screaming.

I remember all those ER visits, all those needles and needles and needles.

This girl.

Have Epipen Will Travel

This girl is tough.  And I'm proud of Her...but  sometimes I've wished Her infancy had been just a little less character-building.  It makes me so glad that we figured it out; that even though we have challenges that continue to come up, She overall is doing really well.
And that Little Miss, my baby, is somehow miraculously growing and thriving in such a way that if I wasn't all the time reminded of the contrast between Her babyhood and Her sister's, I could very well take things for granted. 

Her one year check up took about 3 minutes.  I don't take that for granted.  I don't want to.  But- kind of like I won't actually eat the whole chocolate cheesecake in my fridge all at once- it's kind of nice to just know that I could.