Very brief update

So, deployment. 
Over it.

What Sisters Are For

Missy was feeling cross before naptime and was grumping about joining us for story time.  Little One started to get frustrated and then She took a deep breath, and put on Her cheerful voice.
LO: "Oh Missy! Missy Miss what is a matter?  Don't you want to read stories wif us?"
Miss: "Mph. No!"
LO: "Oh. You is sure cranky today."
Miss: "NO! Nononono no."
LO: "Oh Missy.  Silly Miss Miss.  Don't you know that we love you?  We is Mommy and Sissy and we love you baby LittleMiss.  Come over here and read some stories.  We just want to snuggle you and be all together.  Don't you want to be all together?  Come on now, fweetie, we are who loves you and we is all a family. We can't be all a family without you!"
Missy: "Mommy. Sissy."
LO: "That's right! Mommy and Sissy and we love you! We're a family aren't we Missy Miss?"
Missy stops and stares at us a minute.  She seems to be undergoing a serious internal conflict.  Her eyes dart back and forth between Little One and I.
LO (whispering): "We're a family aren't we Missy?"  She holds out Her arms.
Missy suddenly breaks into a headlong, unsteady run towards Her sister.  She is emphatically bobbing Her head "yes" and calling "Yep! Yep! Yep yep!" as She comes rushing, headlong, crashing into our laps and snuggling in close.  She pats us each in turn, "Mommy Sissy! Mommy Sissy!" and Little One is giggling.
"See! See Little Miss I told you that we are happy all together, cause we loves you! Yes we do! You can be happy now Missy! Yes you can."
Missy sighs and smiles and points at the story in my hand.  "Booka!"
I gather them up, a jumble of arms, legs, pudgy this and that. And we read.

Teen-er-agers. OMG.

Little One thoughtfully watched students from the nearby high school walking home along our street as we pruned the jasmine. 

LO: "Teeneragers...them just goes around, wherever thems want to, without them's mommies and daddies. "

C: "Well.  They do get to go lots of places without their parents with them.  But they can't just go anywhere they want to."

LO: "No?"

C: "No! They have to ask their parents if it's ok first.  And they ALWAYS have to tell their mommies and daddies where they are going.  Even teenagers have to follow rules and be safe."

LO: "Hmm.  Well.  When I'M a teenerager, I'm going to go here and there, and all over a'place, all by mine self!" 

C: "Oh you will go lots of places by yourself, yes.  Because you will be responsible and safe and Mommy and Daddy will trust you.  But you will still have to tell us where you are going, first."

LO: "Oh, well...tee hee! Teeeheeheee!  Well Mommy.. when I am a teenerager, I might....I might jus'...I might jus' tell you I am going to the store, or somepin. When ACTUALLY I will be going to somewhere! Like the ZOO! Haahahaaa!" 


Peanuts, seriously.  I am in for it.  And MOM! Stop laughing so hard. 

Excellent.

*TMI, icky stuff post.  You're warned. 

It's also unnecessarily long, but some of you have asked me about my thoughts on potty training.  

So, ha.  That's what you get for asking!*

Folks.  It's Potty Time. 
Many of you know that I have strong opinions about potty training.  Two, specifically.

1) Yes, kids can be potty-trained well before their second birthday.  Don't tell me they can't; they can.  It's not that hard, either, and yes they can.  Yes they can.

2)The limiting factor in potty training is primarily the parent's potty-training-readiness, not the child's.  And further.  That is a perfectly acceptable limitation. 

In the case of Little One, I did potty training in the method I put together over years of observation and experience with other people's kids, that works for me.  I started early, went slowly, did not ever force, and used a combination of no diapers and positive reinforcement for the final push through to consistently dry undies. 
The thing is (in my opinion of course) if you start really early, potty training just sort of happens early as a matter of course.  Alternatively, you can wait until the child is like three or four and just make a deal or convince them to one day decide to make the switch. 
But the age most of us parents are ready, is the in-between.  The twos.  The age when all children are pre-programed to oppose and resist anything we tell them to do.  When their innate reaction to everything we say is "NO." How does this make sense? No wonder so many people describe potty training as a nightmare.
Ha.  Well.  With Missy. About the time I knew we should be introducing the idea, we were getting ready for moving and deployment.  And then those things came, and, well.  See number two, above.  This Mama was just not ready for the time and effort it takes to teach such a skill. 
And so my recent efforts to broach the subject have not gone over well.  Miss had learned- from me- that the place you "go" is a diaper.  So, when I stripped Her of that, She would just...not go.  She would hold it for hours and hours, all morning guys, until nap time when finally I put Her in a diaper.  There were plenty of times She needed to pee and so She went and fetched Herself a diaper and brought it to me.  Or followed me around doing the pee-pee dance, begging me for a "di-di" so She could go.  And there was the time She gave up on me, and just went and got a diaper, spread it out on the floor, sat on it, peed, and went back to Her puzzle.  She flat refused to even sit on the potty- unless it was cleverly disguised as a reading chair!  In which case She used it for just that. 
I was beginning to think that I was seriously going to have a two year old in diapers. 
Then one day. 
She came to me.  She had a clean diaper in one hand.  She had two clean wipes in the other.  She handed them to me, laid down on the floor.  And said, "Mommy, Miss poo-poo.  All icky.  Wipe, pees!"
And I was like.  Ok seriously.  It. Is. Time. 
But first of all, there was that missed window.  And secondly, this Missy.  Wow guys.  She is fiercely independent and stubborn.  So I needed a plan. 
I thought about it.  I decided to use two of Miss's most prevalent attributes; that independence, and Her intense desire to do everything Her sister does. 
First I gave up on the little potty.  I don't use it, Little One doesn't, and Miss does not appreciate being babied.  I dug out the seat Little One had used as an older toddler, the little seat with the attached step that goes right on the real potty, so She can climb up by Herself and not fall in. 
I showed Missy how it worked.  Hmm.   She was intrigued.  I left it out during school hours, let Missy check it out and get used to it.  Then after school, we had a bathroom pow-wow.  First, Little One showed Missy how to use the new seat.  We made a big deal over how cool and grown up it was.  Then I looked my too-smart-for-my-own-good daughter in the eye, and explained to Her in a cheerful but fully adult tone of voice, that mommy and sissy do not wear diapers.  We do not potty in our undies.  Big girls go in the potty.  Missy is getting to be a big girl, too.  If She goes in the potty, She can have a cookie, like a big girl. 
At the word "cookie", Her eyes got very big.  I try not to introduce refined sugar before the age of two.  So Miss is not typically allowed cookies. And sometimes, She has to see Little One get a cookie, and hear that She is not old enough yet.  So the cookie (actually a tiny chunk of a digestive biscuit) is a Big Deal. 
She climbed up and looked at us.  She tried.  But She looked stressed; we were just staring at Her, waiting!  I was afraid She'd crack under the pressure guys! So to lighten things up, I made a little joke, asking in a silly voice, "pee-pee? Are you in there? Come out, you!" Missy laughed.  And then. She did it.  Her first intentional pee in the potty, ever. 
This is all I needed guys! A breakthrough! Because afterwards, we all cheered and clapped, and then. There was a cookie. She really got to have it and eat it, and it was just as amazing as She always imagined.  And so, within the next hour, I handed out four more cookie bits.  To keep the momentum going, we went to the store and picked out a box of animal crackers-er, cookies, just for Missy, just for potty, and put them in a special jar.  Now, every time She goes She's allowed to choose one. 
She can only have it if She actually goes. Not just if She asks for one.  Not if She begs.  Not if She says pee-pee.  Not if She just sits on the potty.  She has tested all these theories, and identified a direct link between pee in the potty and cookie in hand.  And She never has to complain about wet undies/diapers, and never has to hold it when She needs to go.  A revelation! 
So now the hard part begins.  For Her, learning exactly when to alert the mama so that She makes it in time, learning how to wait a little bit sometimes, learning that it's worth it to stop even the most engrossing book or game when She needs to go.  For me, it's the part where I can't really go anywhere and I spend half the day running to the bathroom, waiting, cheering or not, washing hands, repeat.  It's hard when there's another Little demanding attention.  It's really hard when there is 50-60 minutes of driving required daily for preschool commuting.  But it's time. And it can be done!
Wish us luck, Peanuts!  This part is always an adventure. 

Security Booklet

For awhile there, I was getting a bit worried about Little Miss.  At an infant age when Little One had been all about reading, Miss was only interested in books if there was counting involved, or to eat them.  And not for long.  It seemed like books were just not Her thing.  Certainly not as much as blocks, or dumping stuff out of other stuff. 
I tried to just accept it and roll with Her preferences.  After all.  We can't all of us be complete book nerds. I suppose. And I loved Her the same! I did! I just wasn't sure how to raise such a creature over the long term. What does it....do?
But! Never you fear, Peanuts.  She was just holding out on us. 
She still has a passion for counting and blocks. But Missy has gradually evolved into the book-nerdiest bibliophile of the whole lot of us. Eight times out of ten (really, I measured it once) when it gets too quiet (you know what I mean right parents? Eerily quiet?  Up-to-no-good quiet?)  8 times in 10 I will peek around the corner and find Her sitting amidst a little mountain range of books.  All piled up in stacks around Her.  Leafing carefully through one, and then another. 
When I really need a solid 20 minutes of quiet time to take a phone call/bleach the bathtub/breathe deeply and regain sanity, the best bet is to sit Her down with a bin full of books and just leave Her alone.  She's in Missy-land.  She can't even hear you. 
I've learned that books are the very best tools to use for bribery or placation! For instance, the Dreaded Car Seat.  Oh, She hates the DCS.  But hand Her a book to read on the way?  All smiles. 
The library is like heaven for this kid people.  When we walk in, She does an actual happy dance. 
Story-time at our house comes twice a day, rain or shine, and it is incomparably Her favorite part of living.  If this kid could have story-time and watermelon 24-7, She would have reached nirvana. 
Her current favorites are "Mrs. Wow Never Wanted A Cow" and anything with pictures of "BABIES"!  And in case you think I am hyping up this book-love too much, I will just let you know that at night, Missy has never attached to a security object.  Little One liked (still does) to choose a stuffed animal to cuddle in bed at night.  Little Miss hates that.  She will actually throw the thing if you try to lovingly offer it at night.  Poor, unwanted Teddy.  But.  What did She ask for, time and time again, until I gave in?  What must She now have, in Her little arms, wrapped tight and hugged and kissed?  What pillows Her little cheek as She drifts off to dreamland?  Oh yes.  A book.  Or, in Missy-talk, a "booka".  Any "booka".  Better yet, three "bookas". 
On the down side, our kid-library is becoming a bit tattered from the constant use.  On the up side, I'm no longer worried that we won't share a love of reading.  And She goes to bed so easily now!
She has enough stories memorized now that I'm starting to think that learning-by-osmosis thing we all tried in college might actually work, too. 

The BirthDay

The night before Her long anticipated birthday, Little One had been busy with a long day of playing outside, art projects, and a picnic dinner in the yard which turned into running in the sprinklers which became mixing vats of mud with Her toes which evolved into an epic mud fight with Her mother and sister.  A neighbor or two might have become involved.  There was only one minor injury. 
After extensive washing up, She was worn out and put to bed early. 
But the next day was Her BIRTHDAY.  And after She was tucked in, I could hear Her little feet pittering and pattering about Her room until nearly 11pm.  Choosing the perfect outfit, laying out jewelry and hair ties and pretend make-up and setting Her dolls out in just such a way that She would be SO ready to turn four in the morning.  She was that excited. 
Despite the late night antics, She'd been told She could get up as early as She wanted on Her birthday, and hopped into my covers at 6am, eyes shining. 
"I'm four.  I'm FOUR! Did you know the sun is coming up, and it's going to be my birthday?!?!"
And it was.
Sometime in the night, after even She had fallen asleep, the sun had passed the exact place in it's orbit it had been four laps ago, at the moment She had entered the world. 
That day, we'd both done not much else but sleep.  This time around,  it was cuddles and cheers and singing Missy out of bed.  A parade down the stairs and what music shall we have today Little One? Oh, Broadway Musicals of course. 
Three apron strings tied, and three sets of hands poured and mixed and washed and chopped. 
There was waffles and turkey bacon, fruit and soy milk.  A recorded birthday song from Daddy, which She played again and again, kissing the computer screen. 
And then the best surprise, a phone call from Daddy, so She could tell him all about being FOUR.  I wish I was able to share the photos, guys.  They are priceless.  Her face!
We had to say goodbye, but then there were presents from Grampa and Nana.  Even Little Miss got a package.  The pretty paper flew and the ooohs and aahhhhs poured out.
They played with the novelties while I cleaned up, and then Little One picked out the outfits for the day.  Because She loves to match Her sister and wanted to be "the fanciest ever", She chose the special shiny dresses J and I had brought them from Bahrain. Accessorized with Her new dress up set (clip on earrings!) we set out for the day.  She'd been allowed to choose to do whatever She wanted. 
So we spent the whole day at the children's museum with Her best friend and longtime love, O. 
We took a break for lunch at a Chinese food buffet (Her choice) which was horrible but all the kids loved.  I really don't think it's possible for my girls to have fit that much food into their little bellies.  It boggles the mind.  It must have been birthday luck that the fortune cookie package She chose actually had two cookies in it somehow.  Her fortunes read:
"You will have a happy and peaceful life" and
"Your talents will receive the admiration they deserve"
Which I think about sums up the exact luck She'd like to have. 
The children's museum is awesome. We spent the entire day there, stopped by the grocery store, then headed home where the girls played "children's museum" (since five hours is not enough) while I made Her special dinner.  She was allowed to choose any dinner She wanted, in the whole wide world.  She could have said cheerios or hot dogs or hot dogs with cheerios on top, and I was braced and determined to just let Her have it.  She chose baked salmon, edamame, and salad with terriaki dressing.  She'd also been given the choice of any special birthday dessert in the whole world, and She chose "one candy from the candy dish".  So the candle went in the salmon. 
Throughout the day She had calls from family and serenades of Happy Birthdays and felt very loved. 
After dinner and bath, we read Missy Her favorite book (Mrs Wow Never Wanted A Cow), and tucked Her in.  Then Little One and I looked through Her baby book, reading all the details and touching Her first lock of hair, Her hospital bracelet.  We held Her feet up to Her footprints and saw how much they'd grown.  We looked at the photo album of Her first days home.
After the lights went out I told Her the story of a little baby who was born exactly four years ago; how She came into the world, who was there to greet Her, and how She'd grown to be this amazingly smart, loving girl who danced wonderful dances, ran fast, and sang beautiful songs to a family that had loved Her every minute, all the time, since before She was born until forever. 
From reading the baby book, Little One remembered Her favorite lullabies as a baby, and asked me to sing them.  I did.  She remembered that She'd loved to sleep snuggled into Her mommy's arms, and asked me to snuggle Her to sleep. 
"Now, Little One", I chided, "Even on your birthday, you have to go to sleep like a big girl when it's time for bed."
"But Mommy.  Even if I'm so big four years old, when I'm a baby I liked snuggles and even now I like to snuggle you.  Can't I get big for snuggles later on another birthday?  I'm getting bigger and bigger later on."
I looked down and all the times I'd held Her as an infant, sleeping in my arms, flashed before me like a jolt of lightning.  I looked into Her sweet little four-year-old face (four isn't really such a big number, you know) and I knew that She was right.  That the moments She will want me to hold Her will flash by just as fast.  She will be too big to snuggle to sleep on some other birthday, it's true. 
For now, I'm proud of how much She has grown and learned and become.  I'm proud to call Her my Big Girl and I'm happy to see Her propelling forward and upward with time, growing into Her own fantastic person.  I'll never want to keep Her back.  But, since She asked, and won't for many birthdays more.  This time I was happy to fit Her into my hug with my arms wrapped around, and hold Her a little while longer.  Just until She fell asleep. 

Hear Her Roar

Yesterday "Mommy O" watched Missy so I could go tour a farm and pick pumpkins with Little One at Her school field trip (thank goodness for Mommy O).  Other than Little One and I sharing a few moments of horror at the dairy presentation (especially the part at the end where all the kids are asked to taste the butter made before their eyes) we had a fantastic time. 
Little One searched high and low with extreme seriousness for the Perfect Pumpkin, and then searched near and far for an even perfect-er one for Her sister.  It was pretty entertaining for some other parents that the Perfect Pumpkins were also the biggest ones, and I got to haul them all around the farm afterwards. 
The weather was perfect, the countryside was beautiful, there were animals to pet and a hayride and friends.  When it was over we went to Mommy O's for Missy and stayed to return the favor, watching O and the baby twins while Mommy O went on a date with Papa. 
More fun, playing in the yard, running races and impersonating animals.  Coloring with sidewalk chalk, playing trains, dinosaurs, and building lego towers. We made collages out of magazine cut-outs and read stories together and ate popcorn after cleaning up.  It really was fun. 
When we left the girls were suddenly starving and it was rush hour anyways, so we stopped at a very funky but awesome burrito joint for them to inhale dinner, and then came home for them to gobble watermelon for dessert.  We had a long bath, lots of stories and snuggles, and tucks into bed. 
I'd call it an awesome fall day. 
Personally, the clincher was this gem, overheard from a room away-

Little One: "O! Stop spitting at me!  E'scuse me.  I am a girl- I. Am. A. Woman.  And you need to be respect of me."

O: "Ok!"

LO (moments later): "Thank you O, being a gennel-min.  See we can play nicely!"

O: "Let's be dinosaurs!"

LO: "ROAR!"
 
I have NO idea when Little One became a woman.  A woman.  But if She absolutely must insist on becoming one, that's just about the type I was hoping for. 

Too Legit To Quit

Coincidentally, on the day of presidential debating, my daughter was brushing Her hair after bath time, and asked if I wanted to hear something special She just learned in school.  Who could say no?!
And so right there in the bathroom, my 3 year old recited the Pledge of Allegiance.
Well.    The Pledge The Legit.  

"I Pledge the Legit,
to the flag.  Of the Knighted States of America. 
And to the republic, which it stands
One nation, Under God,
In the visible,
With livery, and God Smith for All.  
Wait! Justice, justice. I don't know a God Smith.  I just keep saying that! Livery and Justice for all." 
 
I really don't do politics on the blog, or on facebook, or at parties.  So I'm not going to dish about the debate, though I did watch it while cutting a melon into the shape of an aquatic creature.  Bet not everyone can say that.
What I will say is that there are some things about this country that have been, are, and will be messed up.  I'm not happy about some things.  Some of them even make me mad!!
However.
I am proud that my child is learning the Pledge of Allegiance.  I felt pride reciting it with Her, pride that I know it and pride in what I think it means.  For all of the imperfections I certainly acknowledge, for all of the things I disagree with in one political party or another, I am proud and extremely thankful to be an American, and to be raising my children in America.  I'm proud of J for sacrificing a lot to be part of preserving those things about this nation that I am so thankful for. 
I will be proud and thankful no matter who wins the debate or the election. 
What I think is that being American is like being part of any other family.  Half the people are crazy, there are things in the family history we're not proud of, and the whole thing drives us nuts sometimes.  But we keep them all in our prayers, if it came down to it we'd stand up and fight for them,  and even when they really tick us off, we know we'll always be a part of it. 
For all it's faults, America is pretty legit.  I have my preferences between those debating candidates.  But no matter who takes office in November,  I pledge the Legit. 

Watch Out, J

Little One: "Mommy.  Does you have some more money from Daddy?"

C: "Er...yes.  Yes, Daddy works hard to earn money for us so that we can have all the things we need, which we do."

LO: "Daddy has do work to get some money for us?"

C: "Yes, he has to earn it.  One day maybe you can learn about that by doing some chores, and earning money of your own to spend."

LO:  "Oooohhh, yes!  Yes, mommy, that really is a good idea, 'cause I need some money.  I have lots of 'spensive things I want to buy."

C: "What? You do?  Really.  Well.  What kinds of things are you planning to buy when you have money?"

LO (Shrugs Her shoulders.  Grins):  ""Spensive ones! Just, you know, whatever is 'spensive.  I'm going to buy aaaaaaaalllll the 'spensive stuff!"  

C: "Well! You certainly have high taste!"

LO: "What does that mean?"

C: "That you like things that are expensive."

LO: "Mommy.  You got that right."