Wishes

I was 19 when my littlest sister was born.  I drove like a demon through the night and arrived just after she did, all tiny and wrinkled and pink.  It was instant love.  I remember a night, later, when she was still a teeny newborn.  I was visiting at my dad's house and she woke up crying late at night.  Her mother was either too exhausted to stop me, or kind enough to let me (or both), but when I slipped into her nursery and picked her up, no one came to meet me in the hall and take her from me.
And so I walked with her up and down the hall, up and down the hall.  Rocking her and singing to her, songs I had memorized in my dorm room just for her.  I snuggled her and cradled her, and we looked at each other in the moonlight.  Searching for signs, clues about who each other might be, how we fit together.
I remember that night feeling so happy for her existence in the world, in my world especially, so thrilled that there was this extremely adorable person that I was tied to by family forever.  And at the same time, terribly sad.  It was almost a crushing feeling, loving her so much already, wanting to miss not a single giggle or cry, and knowing that I would.  I would miss it. 
Being so far away, being already grown and off on my own path, I would miss most of it.  I would never have the kind of sisterhood with her that I had shared with my first sister, just two years younger, who I lived with and shared most of my memories and fights and secrets with. 
As she's grown, it has always been my fear that she would drift further and further from me, until one day I might lose her completely.  As she rounds the corner from an accepting, innocent child to a questioning, opinionated teenager, I have waited with trepidation for the days she might no longer open my birthday cards.  I can't tell you how often and how hard I have wished that her heart would swing the other way, and that we could grow closer as she ages rather than apart.
That's why, when I stood in the airport this summer, waiting to see her ponytail bobbing down the corridor, I had to seriously control myself not to do an actual happy dance in public.  She came, by herself, to stay with us for half the month.  She came with us on a big, winding road trip, she played with Littles and stayed up chatting with me.  Filling me in on some of those things I have hated missing.  Nothing can make up for not being around, day to day, all the time.  But that she wanted to be here, that her mom let her come, and that we got to be together so much was a dream come true!  That she has turned out to be super, super awesome is like icing on the cake.

On top of it all,  our family road trip happened to be to a place that I have wanted to go for as long as I can remember!  Why?  I don't really know.  Maybe it's all those people who have risked or given their lives for the ultimate experience of it.  Maybe it's the majestic photographs, or the old-time romance of it.  But I have always wanted to see Niagara Falls. 

So when J got some time off and we decided to opt for a road trip this year, I pretty-pleased my way into the Canadian destination.  We did all the hokey touristy things, as well as exploring the less commercial aspects, and people I don't care how hokey it was, it was awesome! 

In my own humble opinion, yes it was as majestic and amazing and romantic as all that.  I loved every second!  Having J and the littles and my baby sister along made the trip better than I could have hoped for, and one I will never forget.  We had a fantastic time!

Spending lots of time with baby sister and going on a Niagara Falls adventure were great wishes-come-true.  After all, much as I can get into ballgowns and fancy shoes, this is even more my style:

And it's a good thing my family and I like to take adventures together.  Because the night we got home, we found out that there was another wish-come-true waiting for us with an adventure. 
But that's another story.