Why hello, Two.

I have some other things I was going to say, happy valentines day, love and mush, and all that.
But it's been busy and instead I would like to share, who knows why, that today is a historic moment because it is going down as (so far) the biggest, baddest tantrum in Little One history.
The histrionics were amazing.  I think we were both pretty surprised, frankly.  She kept calming Herself down, giving me hug and an apology, and then flying right back off the handle when She realized that She was still not going to get Her way. At some point, after a warning, the fit became so out of hand that She lost the right to story time altogether (the fit was over choosing a book). Straight to bed with you, little demon child.
You are clearly SO tired, I pointed out, that you cannot stay in control of yourself at all. So you must need a nap Big Time. Right away.
She sobbed even as She climbed in and pulled the covers around Her.  She nodded almost gratefully and began to drift off as I left the room.
Then. As the door closed, Her two-year-old mind clicked.
Wait! What am I doing! I'm giving in! Conceding defeat! This can't be!
And the conniption revved back up.  "Books! Want story! Food! Hungry! Thirsty! Potty!"
Anything to get mommy to give into some demand.  Poor thing.  She really was exhausted.  But She really wanted to establish a good order of power hierarchy before drifting into dreamland.
Unfortunately for Her, so did I. 
I shut the door- She blessedly can still not reach the knob- and stood in torment on the stairs awhile.
Then I tried to view the situation through my rusty old Nanny eyes.  These are SO different from mommy eyes, which get all teary whenever their progeny display any sign of distress.  Mommy eyes are so clouded, you know.  They have to be, so that we still think they are cute when they puke on themselves or get into our make up.
But Nanny eyes tend to see the long run a little better.  They said, Psht.  I have seen waaaaaaaay worse than this. Even on Epic Tantrum Day, Little One's hysterics are small potatoes compared to some of the kids I've sat through fits with, and my general philosophy on handling those- while maybe not everyone's choice- has worked well for me so far.
So Little One raged on in Her room.  And I went downstairs and ate pie.
I checked the time. 
I have a 12 minute rule.
In my experience, the vast majority of tantrum throwers, if left to their own devices, will give up in 12 minutes or less. Most people don't make it that long.  It's like a game of chicken, who will give in first. 
Twelve minutes of screaming and thrashing feels like an eternity to a parent.  But if you think about it...it's not a long time.  Not long enough to traumatize anyone.  But possibly long enough to set some boundaries.
So I timed it.  She screamed, She cried.  And even though this was by far the biggest fit She's ever thrown, She didn't even get through half of those 12 minutes.
With some kids, putting down one good attempt at a coup will pretty much do the trick for good.  With Little One...I have a feeling there will be a few more tirades before we're done with Two.  Maybe even after Two (Three never gets enough credit for it's terribleness).
But even so. As I finish my pie and get on here to share that, wow, that was a really huge tantrum and it was horrible for both of us, I still believe that Two is not actually terrible.
I know that She will wake up refreshed, and rested, and call for me.  When I come in, She will not reproach me for quelling Her rebellion.  She won't ambush me with a blunt object to the head, tell me She hates me, or give me the cold shoulder (all that comes in about 10 years).  She will put Her little arms around my neck, and ask for a snack.
There will be other battles waged; more melting down before She learns how to deal with disappointments and frustrations, and while we establish again and again which one of us is in charge. But for now.  We'll slice up a banana and cuddle on the couch and count all the lady bugs on the page. Because that's what we do, at Two.
Twelve minutes or less is just a blip, just a little smudge on the narrative of our day together.  The majority of Two, I can honestly say, is Terrific.