Flexible Flyer

At this point in my pregnancy with Little One, major renovations had been done to prepare the nursery.  The decor hand-sewn by my mom, showers were thrown and tags pulled off new clothes. I was staining the crown moulding while I was in labor.
With this one, most of the stuff is just hauled down from the attic, and she'll be sharing a room with Little One so there's no nursery decorating to do.  It may be why the nearness of Her due-date hasn't really struck us yet: we're just sort of going about business as usual.  And with so much going on with Little One, sometimes we almost forget that something quite huge really is about to happen to this family.
But my last OB appointment, where OB told me to expect Little Miss to make Her entrance (exit?) any time now, sort of gave me a wake up call.  Any day now? Really? 
And the nesting instinct has gone into hyperdrive.
MUST. PREPARE.
My latest stroke of inspiration/insanity gave me the idea to switch the nursery with the larger guest room, so that there is really space to share a room, and so that I can take pictures down and re-hang them in another room, thus giving an outlet to all this nesting energy.  Because the bathtub really can't be scrubbed so often.  It can't be good for it.
With the advice of a friend who is a great mom, I decided that now is a better time for this switch than after the baby arrives.  So that it can be about Little One, and the baby not be blamed for another big change.  Toddlers are infamous for their hatred of change.  INfamous.
So I was sort of nervous about bringing up the idea with Little One, especially because I decided to pass Her nice crib along to Her sister; a change on top of a change, orbiting an even bigger change.
But I mentioned it in passing this morning.  Then I looked online and found a great toddler bed on Craigslist, and showed Her the picture.  She determined that it was a "ballerina big girl" bed, and that She loved it and wanted to "sleep in there, and then jump! And spin! Around around around baller-EEN-a BIG girl bed!" So we picked it up, put it together, cleaned it.  All the while, I was waiting for the idea to hit Her that She was being somehow displaced, and preparing myself for the fallout.
But She remained thrilled with the idea all evening, and when J came home and carried it upstairs, She instructed him to put it in the guest room.  And told me that She wanted to sleep in it.  So we brought in Her blankets and puppy and teddy.  At Her insistence, we read stories in there, and then She crawled right in. "So nice, my ballerina bed, mommy," She said yawning.  And said goodnight.
And slept, all night, slept in even.  I can hardly believe how easy that was, like I couldn't believe how easy it was to take off the rails and make Her crib a "big girl" bed.
I've never seen a toddler quite so flexible and ready to let go of these sort of weight-bearing beams of babyhood.  The crib.  The nursery.  I'm proud of Her for rolling with it all so well; embracing progress and future and newness.  I felt a sense of triumph as I shut the door after tucking Her in, and started envisioning all the re-organizing I can do now that She's taken so well to the new room. I felt happy that Little Miss will have had something re-arranged, redecorated, re-done just because of Her, and excited about making the space we have work in a more practical way for our growing family.
And then I passed by Little One's room...Her 'old' room?  So carefully thought out, the paint color so much sweeter, the pink and purple curtains making it cozy.  I stood in the doorway awhile and the triumph went a little bitter.
I like that room. The nursery.  It's special.  It's full of memories that smell like Baby and whisper about becoming a Family. The shadows from that window that fell across so many sleepless, blissful nights.  Her crib-bed looked so forlorn and empty.   The baby kicked.
I turned out the light and shut the door, realizing that maybe the reason I'm so impressed with Little One's happy appetite for change isn't that I'm afraid She isn't ready...but that I'm not.
Change and growing up is hard for toddlers, it is true.  But maybe it's even harder on their mothers. It flies by so fast.