A few nights ago, J and I went to his work's holiday party.
A bunch of the guys decided to make it an ugly sweater party. So I hopped over to the thrift store and bought him a lovely blue turtleneck covered in little cartoon snowmen. In the same fine establishment I picked up a couple accessories to kick it up a notch, and a hand-knitted, lime green monstrosity for myself in case spouses were expected to participate. Lucky for me they were not, and so J decided to incorporate the monstrosity into his own ensemble. Taking care to leave the prominently visible "goodwill" tag on the shoulder for added flair.
Unbeknownst to us, there turned out to be a contest at the party. It was decided by audience applause, and it wasn't even close. J won the Ugly Sweater Contest by an uproarious landslide.
As he claimed his prize, a friend laughing with me leaned in and said jokingly, "Well! Aren't you proud?" And I answered, "I totally am!" Not joking at all.
The thing about J is that he wore that getup walking from the car through six blocks of trendy downtown Friday night crowd and didn't blink.
He didn't feel embarrassed, and he wasn't showing off. It was just an ugly sweater party, so he wore an ugly sweater. And he would have worn it wherever, whenever, and not cared.
This is one of many things that has always charmed me about J. I have never met a less insecure person in all of my life. He really, truly, does not care what anyone thinks about him. At all. He does what he likes and what he thinks is the right thing, no matter who is watching, no matter what.
This goes for being silly and/or weird, and it goes for walking against the crowd when it's something serious, too. There is no peer pressure strong enough to sway him.
Which is such a large part of how he is able to pull off one of the other traits that captures my heart over and over; his absolute and immutable integrity. J always does the right thing. Always.
As his wife, I appreciate that he's not afraid to be silly and play with our children in front of his friends, and I appreciate knowing that when he tells me something, it is The Truth. But as the mother of his children, this special immunity to other people's judgements is something I find myself being thankful for every single day. I hope that by watching his example, they will also learn to be true to themselves. Whether it's what they like to listen to or wear, or whether it's following their conscience when that internal compass leads them down the harder road.
Especially now that we have a Mister on the way- a little boy to try and turn into a man as good as His father- and knowing that Little One will probably be in a public elementary school this time next year, I have been thinking ahead about the coming years of raising Littles, and the trickier waters we will be heading into soon. In a world that can seem angry and unfair, in a world full of cyber-issues I've no idea how to face, and social issues that roil and burn, it is easy to be afraid of navigating those waters. But what helps me more than anything is knowing that my Littles will always have a mother who loves them just as they are. And a father to look up to who, when it's time to wear an ugly sweater, wears the ugliest one there is. And rocks it.
A bunch of the guys decided to make it an ugly sweater party. So I hopped over to the thrift store and bought him a lovely blue turtleneck covered in little cartoon snowmen. In the same fine establishment I picked up a couple accessories to kick it up a notch, and a hand-knitted, lime green monstrosity for myself in case spouses were expected to participate. Lucky for me they were not, and so J decided to incorporate the monstrosity into his own ensemble. Taking care to leave the prominently visible "goodwill" tag on the shoulder for added flair.Unbeknownst to us, there turned out to be a contest at the party. It was decided by audience applause, and it wasn't even close. J won the Ugly Sweater Contest by an uproarious landslide.
As he claimed his prize, a friend laughing with me leaned in and said jokingly, "Well! Aren't you proud?" And I answered, "I totally am!" Not joking at all.
The thing about J is that he wore that getup walking from the car through six blocks of trendy downtown Friday night crowd and didn't blink.
He didn't feel embarrassed, and he wasn't showing off. It was just an ugly sweater party, so he wore an ugly sweater. And he would have worn it wherever, whenever, and not cared.
This is one of many things that has always charmed me about J. I have never met a less insecure person in all of my life. He really, truly, does not care what anyone thinks about him. At all. He does what he likes and what he thinks is the right thing, no matter who is watching, no matter what.
This goes for being silly and/or weird, and it goes for walking against the crowd when it's something serious, too. There is no peer pressure strong enough to sway him. Which is such a large part of how he is able to pull off one of the other traits that captures my heart over and over; his absolute and immutable integrity. J always does the right thing. Always.
As his wife, I appreciate that he's not afraid to be silly and play with our children in front of his friends, and I appreciate knowing that when he tells me something, it is The Truth. But as the mother of his children, this special immunity to other people's judgements is something I find myself being thankful for every single day. I hope that by watching his example, they will also learn to be true to themselves. Whether it's what they like to listen to or wear, or whether it's following their conscience when that internal compass leads them down the harder road.
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