...But It Is.

Out of the blue a few days ago:

J: "So...C?"
C: "Yep?"
J: "So....which one of us do you think is more likely to go crazy?"
C: "You".
J: "...you answered that fast..."
C: "Yup. You. Why?"
J: "...I was just thinking that our life is great".
C: "Yeah....?"
J: "Well, I was thinking that our life is so great. But, then again, I guess everyone's life is great at some point, right? Then someone just goes crazy."
C: "Aw. Worried that it's all too good to be true, Love?"
J: "well...kinda."

I laughed at him gently, gave him a kiss and kept folding laundry.
And said fevered prayers of thankfulness in my heart.  Because that is what I do, when I see that my husband and I are on the Same Page.  It's not uncommon.  But not to be taken for granted. 
Too good to be true... 
The truth is we do this sometimes, in various ways.  We plow through life, steeling against it and digging in the balls of our feet and grinding forward; weighing the options, paying the bills, taking turns, giving things up, taking things on.  And then every so often, we stop.  We shift our weight back to our heels for a moment, hold hands, wipe our brow, look around.  And then we look at each other in wonder asking, "Really? We did all this? Is it ours? To keep? It's lovely!" We put our arms back out before us and push ahead some more.
In truth there's not a lot to show.  In truth, this will go down as a tough stretch in our historical narrative.  J working long, hard hours.  Working long and hard every day.  Coming home to take out the trash,  clean up after dogs, enforce time-outs. Never getting enough sleep. Me working long, hard hours.  Trying to keep things together when my body is already occupied with the work of adding to our future chaos.  Chopping and cooking things that become nothing but a mess a few hours later.  Cleaning and cleaning things that are instantly dirty again; Sisyphus with a sponge and mop.  Being alone most of the time, and at the same time never alone for a second.
It's hard.  It's not going to turn anyone green with envy.
But the truth is that despite the Hard, despite the Tired and the Mundane and the Overwhelming-at-times- this is what we hoped for.
Plowing through life, side-by-side.  Our home is perpetually skimming a sea of disarray, sometimes dipping its toes in or taking a quick dive.  It's small and getting smaller.  It's got its share of aggravations.  But it's nice.  It's warm and it has things we need, things we like, things we saved for.  It has little hooks and shelves in all the convenient places.  
We spend every spare second we might have for ourselves attending to the needs, the wants, the whims of our small child. She is demanding, She is exhausting, She is ceaseless.  But She is our greatest source of joy and light. She is enough reason, enough compensation, for this hard work.  This sweating and building and honing of a Life.
We feel like we rarely see each other. But when we do, we bask in the togetherness, we hold fast to each other, we push on with our shoulders touching. 
It's not the easiest life, not the fanciest life.  But it's not the hardest, not so rough at the edges.  What it is, is steady and safe and calm; a haven.  What it is, is honest and well-intentioned.  What it is, is full of love, full of happy, full of trying our very best.
It's more than enough to work hard for.  It's more than enough to be thankful for and to relish.
It's just plain More Than Enough.
Almost too good to be true.