As promised- and I know you have all been wasting away by your computers, pulling your hair out in anticipation- here is a general update on things in the By The Way household. I know, I know. You're so welcome, you adoring masses. Or...mom. Love ya too mom! Here goes:
J:
J? What J? Have you seen him? Anyone? Not me. J gets out the door around 4:30am. I know for a fact that he kisses me goodbye every day, because it's tradition and we stick to it like a fiddler on a roof. But I have no actual memory of it, because, like a normal person, I am SLEEPING. He works long hours, no weekends, and has had some very, very crazy patients lately to entertain me with tales of. But he's loving being a real doctor, getting to see patients instead of sit in a classroom, and from what I hear they love him too. Of course!
While we don't get to see him a lot around the house, between the two of us Little One and I have spent a lot of time at the hospital for various appointments, and he usually slips away long enough to send Little One into a fit of excited screaming and hugging and begging to play with the pen light. He's tired, but he's hanging in there. And when he IS home it's hard to tell who is more thrilled about it, him or Little One. Despite being gone a lot, J is amazing (I think) in that he has created a really close relationship with his daughter. Seeing them together adoring the heck out of each other is my happiest time. Because it's so sweet...ok and partly because whoever is playing with Her is on empty-the-potty duty. Unwritten rule.
C and Fetus (currently a packaged deal): Doing ok! Exclamation point! Because that is a great big step up! ! While I still am feeling tired and really queasy in the evenings (and have yet to hit 48 hours without puking at least once) it's a world better than it was. I feel much better about being able to take care of things around here and get out when I need (or want) to. At almost 17 weeks, I have still not gained any weight. But somehow still feel like a walrus that needs to waddle around. And I do rock a little belly now, which is kind of fun for me, because I like seeing people doing the intent look/double-take that says "is she? or maybe just a little too much cheesecake? Or is she...?" The really fun part though is that I can feel the little bugger kicking around in there now, which is and always has been the only part of pregnancy I can say I "like" without lying.
Said fetus is also doing great, growing and squirming and looking stylish in the sonograms. We do not know yet if it's a boy or girl, but YES we are finding out as soon as scientifically possible. Because, have I mentioned this? I am a planner. I NEED to know what to put in the nursery, and what societally-mandated gender-stereotyped outfits to hang in the closet. Also, we could maybe pick out a name a little earlier than as-we-are-literally-walking-out-the-hospital-door this time. Probably won't, but we could. At least try.
Little One: Constantly knocking our socks off with another New Thing. Her 2 year check up was on Her birthday, in which the doctor actually asked to see my purse for proof that I don't carry a diaper or extra set of undies when we go out. Believe it, missy. And in which Little One wowed her by demonstrating Her extensive knowledge of the names of anatomical parts, some of which I would not mind if She had left out, or at least not used mine as a demo. And at which She weighed in at a hefty 22lb, earning Her a spot in the 4th percentile. Because She is obviously growing and thriving, Dr and I are not concerned about this. And in fact, I am rather amused that I was able to bring out most of Her 12month sized winter clothes from last year for a re-run.
Despite being a bit petite, Little One has no shortage of personality. She gets more fun and hilarious by the second, it seems. She has Her share of stubborn moments, which I would love to call Terrible Twos, except that Double-genetic Curse would probably be more accurate. Overall, though, She's a breeze to parent and turning into a pretty fun buddy to have around all the time. She can have real conversations now, which is SO COOL. And Her imagination is wild.
She's very excited that we have a new baby-in-the-tummy, though She has informed me that She will NOT be sharing Her pretty hair-ties. "These, these one? My. Little One hair tie. No baby. Baby, other ones. Mommy, you find other one baby. These one mine, k? Okay!" Oh yes. The word "mine" somehow weaseled its way into Her vocab exactly a week before last Tuesday, and while it hasn't been repeated often since, like a horse can sense an impending earthquake, I feel the "mine" tsunami coming. We have arrived at TWO.
Doggies: Oh doggies. Poor babies, so often left out of posts. The dogs are a big deal in our house right now. For awhile now we have been having some problems with one of our furry babies. I will probably share more later. But right now we are looking seriously into ways to help her. I have an appointment an hour away on Monday, and we will see how it goes. But the decisions we are making around our little pet are a big topic around here lately.
Generally though, around the house, they are both learning to live with a toddler and starting to accept that being dressed in hats and necklaces, receiving fake manicures and fur-styles, and being taken on "walks" around (and around, and around, and around...) the living room are just unavoidable parts of life. They do seem to enjoy having stories read to them every morning in their bed, though. Who doesn't love that?
Generally Speaking: We are all enjoying the cool fall air, the change of seasons, and each other. I get out to see my and Little One's friends as often as I can, and J goes on little adventures with us as often as he can, but generally we are sticking pretty close to home these days. Sort of wrapped up in all we have to do and in each other when we have the chance. Looking forward to all the holidays and excitement coming in the months ahead. And enjoying the simple and fleeting things about today and all the days until Big Changes come. Like sleeping all night, for instance. Which I think I'll go appreciate right now.
Night!
Friday, October 8, 2010
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Party Time. Excellent!
When J and I got hitched, I planned the wedding myself. With help from my mom, my sister, and J's mom, I did everything from making each invitation, program, and table card by hand (decorating each one), to fashioning hanging tea lights and hooking them up in the trees, to making shirts and jewelry for the wedding party and sewing flower petals into my little sister's dress. I made it even more work than a wedding usually is. And I LOVED it.
I listen as sympathetically as possible to friends complain about the annoyances of wedding planning. Who has time to spend a whole day comparing napkin colors?! So true. But I love this stuff. Napkin colors! Place cards! Party favors! Yes please! I ended up doing party and event planning as a side job in college, more for the fun than the cash.
Parties indulge all my type A tendencies to the extreme. Planning, organizing, making lists, arranging and re-arranging things... cleaning the heck out of everything before and after....it's like zen. There can be themes people! Which also indulges what little creativity I have. I love to come up with ideas and see them through with my own hands. I don't get a ton of opportunities to employ this obsession. BUT! Little One does have birthdays. And kid's events are by far the most fun. I tried to keep it simple, even though there was a theme. Oooh. I didn't have to think hard to choose one; Little One pretty much chose for me.
Her big obsession now (besides Beyonce- another post altogether) is tea parties. Not the war paint/picket sign type, Peanuts, even if we do live in DC. I mean the big hat, china saucer, one-lump-or-two type. Awhile back I got Her a thrift store tea set, and it has been all tea parties, all the time, ever since.
So for Her birthday, I made little appetizers and tiny sandwiches, and an awful lot of sweet stuff.
Including these ice cream cones, cut down and iced to cookies to look like tea cups. They were kind of boring so I added some color and sprinkles. (Yes I did. Me, who has serious qualms about giving sugar to children. But....they were kind of cute, right? What's a few cavities here and there? Ahem).
J's awesome aunt did this amazing cake, which was as yummy as it was pretty.
I made a tea-pot pinata, inspired by Ellie, the Duchess of crafting.
It was the pinata that would not die.
Little One and I wanted the kids to indulge their crafty selves too. So we picked out plain cups and fancy saucers for them to decorate with paint pens.
And what's a tea party without dressing up? So there were hats for them to decorate; straw hats for the girls and top hats for the boys.
To get extra fancy, the little ladies had plastic necklaces and I made sparkly clip-on bow-ties for the gents.
It was really fun seeing how much the kids liked these projects. Especially the older neighborhood boys, who are generally too street to be seen doing anything that does not impersonate a teenager. I loved seeing one 9 year-old, in a plastic top-hat and sparkly bow-tie, painting his name on a tea cup and muttering, "ya'll better not try and tell anyone I'm doing this..." and then adding glitter. Glitter! He could just not help himself. Really, Peanuts, with glitter and stickers, who could?
I set up the deck with some little tables and tea sets for the kids to play at, and I was also surprised to see how much they got into that part. I knew that Little One would love it, but it was nice to see the other kiddos pouring pretend tea and bringing a cup of air to their mammas.
We had fun. Not least, Little One.
I wish you could have seen Her face the moment She came downstairs from Her nap to find the house transformed into Tea Party central. Or heard how She whispered "Tea Party!" in this excited, awestruck voice, and touched each little tea cup so admiringly before dissolving into giggles. It was magic.
She was thrilled to see a whole table of food that She could eat ALL of. And She spent most of the party eating something. She kept going back to choose more.
She was the first one to start singing "happy birthday" when the candles came out.
She had Her first ever real sugary treat. An egg/milk/soy free cupcake and icing that turned out pretty tasty! I used this recipe, substituting coconut milk for the shortening, and also made little muffins out of this one, which were yummy enough to make again, for all of us.
My friend A is an amazing photographer and artist, and as part of Little One's present she shot some pictures for us. I am too lazy to figure out how to make the files smaller to post many of them here, but they are really lovely.
How much girlier can you get...a tiara and a party hat? Little One was in Her element.
And, throughout the whole thing- and as I scrubbed every puzzle piece, every wooden block, every inch of the house until 2:30 the next morning to make sure it was allergy-sanitized by the time She woke up- so was I.
Little One takes after Her dad in a lot of ways, and She is nothing but Her own Self in others. But in some ways, She's like Her mom. One thing we definitely agree on is that there there isn't much that's more fun than being a hostess, making things from scratch, and, most of all, having great friends to share it with.
I listen as sympathetically as possible to friends complain about the annoyances of wedding planning. Who has time to spend a whole day comparing napkin colors?! So true. But I love this stuff. Napkin colors! Place cards! Party favors! Yes please! I ended up doing party and event planning as a side job in college, more for the fun than the cash.
Parties indulge all my type A tendencies to the extreme. Planning, organizing, making lists, arranging and re-arranging things... cleaning the heck out of everything before and after....it's like zen. There can be themes people! Which also indulges what little creativity I have. I love to come up with ideas and see them through with my own hands. I don't get a ton of opportunities to employ this obsession. BUT! Little One does have birthdays. And kid's events are by far the most fun. I tried to keep it simple, even though there was a theme. Oooh. I didn't have to think hard to choose one; Little One pretty much chose for me.
Her big obsession now (besides Beyonce- another post altogether) is tea parties. Not the war paint/picket sign type, Peanuts, even if we do live in DC. I mean the big hat, china saucer, one-lump-or-two type. Awhile back I got Her a thrift store tea set, and it has been all tea parties, all the time, ever since.
So for Her birthday, I made little appetizers and tiny sandwiches, and an awful lot of sweet stuff.
Including these ice cream cones, cut down and iced to cookies to look like tea cups. They were kind of boring so I added some color and sprinkles. (Yes I did. Me, who has serious qualms about giving sugar to children. But....they were kind of cute, right? What's a few cavities here and there? Ahem).
J's awesome aunt did this amazing cake, which was as yummy as it was pretty.
I made a tea-pot pinata, inspired by Ellie, the Duchess of crafting.
It was the pinata that would not die.
Little One and I wanted the kids to indulge their crafty selves too. So we picked out plain cups and fancy saucers for them to decorate with paint pens.
And what's a tea party without dressing up? So there were hats for them to decorate; straw hats for the girls and top hats for the boys.
To get extra fancy, the little ladies had plastic necklaces and I made sparkly clip-on bow-ties for the gents.
It was really fun seeing how much the kids liked these projects. Especially the older neighborhood boys, who are generally too street to be seen doing anything that does not impersonate a teenager. I loved seeing one 9 year-old, in a plastic top-hat and sparkly bow-tie, painting his name on a tea cup and muttering, "ya'll better not try and tell anyone I'm doing this..." and then adding glitter. Glitter! He could just not help himself. Really, Peanuts, with glitter and stickers, who could?
I set up the deck with some little tables and tea sets for the kids to play at, and I was also surprised to see how much they got into that part. I knew that Little One would love it, but it was nice to see the other kiddos pouring pretend tea and bringing a cup of air to their mammas.
We had fun. Not least, Little One.
I wish you could have seen Her face the moment She came downstairs from Her nap to find the house transformed into Tea Party central. Or heard how She whispered "Tea Party!" in this excited, awestruck voice, and touched each little tea cup so admiringly before dissolving into giggles. It was magic.
She was thrilled to see a whole table of food that She could eat ALL of. And She spent most of the party eating something. She kept going back to choose more.
She was the first one to start singing "happy birthday" when the candles came out.
She had Her first ever real sugary treat. An egg/milk/soy free cupcake and icing that turned out pretty tasty! I used this recipe, substituting coconut milk for the shortening, and also made little muffins out of this one, which were yummy enough to make again, for all of us.
My friend A is an amazing photographer and artist, and as part of Little One's present she shot some pictures for us. I am too lazy to figure out how to make the files smaller to post many of them here, but they are really lovely.
How much girlier can you get...a tiara and a party hat? Little One was in Her element.
And, throughout the whole thing- and as I scrubbed every puzzle piece, every wooden block, every inch of the house until 2:30 the next morning to make sure it was allergy-sanitized by the time She woke up- so was I.
Little One takes after Her dad in a lot of ways, and She is nothing but Her own Self in others. But in some ways, She's like Her mom. One thing we definitely agree on is that there there isn't much that's more fun than being a hostess, making things from scratch, and, most of all, having great friends to share it with.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
This is My Brain On Toddler, Dogs, and Fetus
Ok, so. I'm sorry. I haven't called you back. I haven't answered my phone, and I haven't called you back. You want to know the truth? Yes. Yes I checked my messages. Yes I texted you, instead of calling you back, like you said to in the message. There. I am directing this apology to so many of you, right here. On a blog. It's easier to do it en mas. Because, see, otherwise...I would have to call you all back.And here's the thing. I prefer to communicate by typing just now. Because, if I text you, or email, or send a message on facebook, I am able to lead a secret double life!
I can say something. To you! And I can do it in such a way that I appear to be coherent, and sane, and somewhat put-together; as like a normal person as I'll likely get. This is only really possible through a written dialogue of some sort.
Because, see, if I am "talking to you" with texts or messages, instead of on the phone, you do not have to strain to hear me over the sound of my child screaming, banging, singing, or MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY!-ing in the background.
You do not have to decipher my message by extracting the words that are pertinent to you from a soup of interjections like: "yes honey just a minute, nonono don't eat that, dogs would you stop barking, kids we cant come out to play yet, please come down from there, yes i love you too, please let go of mommy's phone, yes love just a minute".
You won't run the risk of having to wait while I pause to: take something out of the oven, vomit, extract things from mouths, give a time-out, wipe up some kind of fluid, vomit, kiss an owie, and struggle to recapture my train of thought. (Or pee. By the time I will have written this I'll probably have gone and peed about 27 times.)
Typing is so much easier! I can start, stop, resume when I have 3 seconds and 5 brain cells to spare, and send it all off as one neatly packaged, purified thought! And even better, if you answer in kind, I can read your words, and then re-read them after I totally forget what we were talking about because OMG did someone just eat a booger that is disgusting who was it. I can read them in some momentary lull in which I can actually consider what you are saying and how to appropriately respond.
Whereas on the phone, I am likely to respond with something like: "uh huh, sorry what?, can you hang on just a sec, can I think about it and call you back, absolutely NOT miss no I wasn't talking to you, or, sorry what?"
I'm telling you. I love to hear your voice. I miss it. I know typed messages are not the same as an actual conversation and I know it is annoying to have to text or message and then wait who-knows-how-long to get a response. But really, you would wait that long to get the same amount of information even if we were talking on the phone. And trust me, it would not be as like a "conversation" as you might think.
So for those of you I have been rudely not calling, I will post an update soon. With things I would probably talk about with you over coffee if the smell didn't make me nauseous, you didn't live so far away, and I could speak to one person for over 15 seconds consecutively. And also, I'm sorry.
But, trust me, it's for your own good.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
When We Hit a Party, We Leave Our Mark
During Little One's demon possession, it was suggested that maybe She needed a good distraction. So we joined some friends at a picnic. How lovely. How idyllic! The green grass, the barbecue smells, the sunshiney air! Everyone was settled into their picnic tables. Eating. Watching the adjacent grassy area where their children were sweetly playing. Little One was among the innocent children, frolicking about of course, and I was chatting. Little One was behind me. So occasionally I'd turn around and check on Her, and then let Her do Her thing while I turned my attention to my friend. After all, she could see Little One from her spot, and like everyone at the picnic had an eye on the grassy area. So if there was any imminent danger it's not like She was alone in the woods. A fact I'm not sure She was aware of.
Because suddenly my friend's eyes got wide, and she said, "umph!" and pointed behind me. So I turned. I scanned the crowd of innocent, frolicking children, and soon spotted Little One.
*With Her dress up over Her shoulders, Her undies around Her ankles, singing a little tune and hanging out in a squat with Her buns in the breeze right there in the middle of everything.*
Ohmygoodnessohmygoshyouhavegottobekiddingme.
I instinctively shrieked, "Little One! What? No!" which was surely the most discreet way to handle the situation. I bolted over to Her and swooped Her up. Hastily yanking clothing over bare parts. "Little One. What are you doing?"
She looked up at me like I must be a little slow, and stated the obvious. "Potty."
Maybe camping was a bad idea...
Because suddenly my friend's eyes got wide, and she said, "umph!" and pointed behind me. So I turned. I scanned the crowd of innocent, frolicking children, and soon spotted Little One.
*With Her dress up over Her shoulders, Her undies around Her ankles, singing a little tune and hanging out in a squat with Her buns in the breeze right there in the middle of everything.*
Ohmygoodnessohmygoshyouhavegottobekiddingme.
I instinctively shrieked, "Little One! What? No!" which was surely the most discreet way to handle the situation. I bolted over to Her and swooped Her up. Hastily yanking clothing over bare parts. "Little One. What are you doing?"
She looked up at me like I must be a little slow, and stated the obvious. "Potty."
Maybe camping was a bad idea...
Little Yin
Late last night, Little One's fever subsided. Yay! However, it seems to have taken with it Her good nature. She spent most of today in an utter conniption which made my ears ring as if there had been a bombing nearby. It was truly stupendous. She took 3 naps, by request, so She might have been really, really worn out from Her little illness. Or it might have been a demon possession. Very hard to tell. But whatever it was, it was LOUD.
This was awesome! Because it kicked off sharply at 7am, on a Saturday, and did not stop for HOURS. Which made me feel so, so much less antipathy for my new neighbors and the motorcycle they leave running in the backyard, and the music that shakes the basement walls, and the dog that barks all day while they are at work, and their adorable, throttle-able puppy which has been, and in fact is right now, barking its little head off from its imprisonment on their porch-right under my bedroom window- all night. Every night. Good job, Little One. Restoring some Karmic balance to the universe! Or at least the neighborhood.
She showed that puppy how it is done.
I think that the new sibling should also be taught the zen art of symmetrical justice. When it comes, especially if it has colic like Little One did, I'm thinking we should begin its training by learning which wall we share with our dear neighbors' bedroom. And putting the cradle, right there.
My kids are so great. Little superheroes already! Ooohhhhmmmmmm
This was awesome! Because it kicked off sharply at 7am, on a Saturday, and did not stop for HOURS. Which made me feel so, so much less antipathy for my new neighbors and the motorcycle they leave running in the backyard, and the music that shakes the basement walls, and the dog that barks all day while they are at work, and their adorable, throttle-able puppy which has been, and in fact is right now, barking its little head off from its imprisonment on their porch-right under my bedroom window- all night. Every night. Good job, Little One. Restoring some Karmic balance to the universe! Or at least the neighborhood.
She showed that puppy how it is done.
I think that the new sibling should also be taught the zen art of symmetrical justice. When it comes, especially if it has colic like Little One did, I'm thinking we should begin its training by learning which wall we share with our dear neighbors' bedroom. And putting the cradle, right there.
My kids are so great. Little superheroes already! Ooohhhhmmmmmm
Friday, September 24, 2010
The Parade
On Labor Day, our fair city puts on an adorable parade. Who doesn't love a parade?!
So Little One and I parked it on the curb and watched the show.
She and Baby gathered just a few campaign stickers.
She was a little freaked out by the dragon, but She stared it down.
We saw some A. Maz. Ing. little kid dancers in fantastic traditional costumes. Something I love about the diversity of our area is the abundance of cultures to liven things up. I have to say the Central and South American traditional singing/dancing groups stole show. I would have paid to see that, and if you know me and my cheap self, you know it was pretty good. At least as far as I was concerned.
Little One was most impressed by the marching bands. Every time we started to hear one coming up over the hill She stood up and started dancing and clapping, screaming "yay!" She'd look at me with the "can you believe this?!" face and say, "muso mommy, MUso!"
But the true highlight for us both came with the wildlife rescue center crew. I saw Her staring. Awestruck. Coveting. She'd turn to me. Turn back. And whisper quietly, with amazement and devotion in Her voice, "Hop-hop...". So finally I said, "if you want to go see, Little One, it's ok". I didn't really think She would, truthfully, but the words were still traveling out of my mouth as She dashed into the street in a beeline. "Hop-hop!" She cried, raising Her arms. And gave the 6 foot tall bunny a big, squeezy, lovey hug. And would not. Let go. The amazing ginormous hop-hop had to carry Her back to me, dangling from it's neck, and deposit Her, flush with joy, into my lap.
The crowd cheered. And hop-hop said to me, "Wow, that is a brave little girl! Most kids cry when they see me." And I realized, hey. She is getting pretty brave! Little One is by nature very cautious, very fond of my shoulder when there is anything new around. But She saw something She adored so much, that She mustered up Her courage and went for the hug. Going waaay outside Her normal mama-range to do so. You go Little One! And I hope that as She grows She always finds that courage when She sees something She loves. To just go for it! Grab it! Hold on tight. Before the parade passes by.
So Little One and I parked it on the curb and watched the show.
She was a little freaked out by the dragon, but She stared it down.
Little One was most impressed by the marching bands. Every time we started to hear one coming up over the hill She stood up and started dancing and clapping, screaming "yay!" She'd look at me with the "can you believe this?!" face and say, "muso mommy, MUso!"
The crowd cheered. And hop-hop said to me, "Wow, that is a brave little girl! Most kids cry when they see me." And I realized, hey. She is getting pretty brave! Little One is by nature very cautious, very fond of my shoulder when there is anything new around. But She saw something She adored so much, that She mustered up Her courage and went for the hug. Going waaay outside Her normal mama-range to do so. You go Little One! And I hope that as She grows She always finds that courage when She sees something She loves. To just go for it! Grab it! Hold on tight. Before the parade passes by.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Pink Plastic Bangles of Honor
I was going to tell you about Little One's awesome prize-winning fever episode and the medical juggernaut She traversed in consequence. But, really, She tells it better. This is Her version of today:
"Hopital. Doctor come. (points sharply to the crease of Her arm)- POKE! Little One owie. Poke owie. (shakes Her head morosely a moment, then straightens up and puffs out Her chest) Little One Bave! (brave). Bave! Doctor come. Give treats! Goo gurl Little One. Bave, treats. Tank you!! Tank you treats! (shows off the plastic bracelets. Smiles.) Mommy? Doctor. She nice!"
I was there. I can tell you, it's all true. Especially the part about Her being so brave. Even the part where She thanked the nurse that stuck a needle in Her arm- and that was before the bracelets. Having a sick Little One gives me reason to feel helpless, and sad. But also proud.
"Hopital. Doctor come. (points sharply to the crease of Her arm)- POKE! Little One owie. Poke owie. (shakes Her head morosely a moment, then straightens up and puffs out Her chest) Little One Bave! (brave). Bave! Doctor come. Give treats! Goo gurl Little One. Bave, treats. Tank you!! Tank you treats! (shows off the plastic bracelets. Smiles.) Mommy? Doctor. She nice!"
I was there. I can tell you, it's all true. Especially the part about Her being so brave. Even the part where She thanked the nurse that stuck a needle in Her arm- and that was before the bracelets. Having a sick Little One gives me reason to feel helpless, and sad. But also proud.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Saturday, September 18, 2010
What Do Doggies, Summer, and Babies Have in Common?
Little One adores the dogs with the over-exuberance of a toddler. Sometimes, as they wander by, She leaps out at them, wraps Her arms around their bodies and hugs too tight. They wriggle onward, pulling slowly through Her arms until She is left squeezing tight to their tail, hanging on as long as She can before it slips through too.
That's what we've all been doing around here, with Summer. Folding it into us as it keeps moving past, squeezing every last bit of summery-ness out of it we can as it slipped away.
There have been trips to the fair, hiking in woods and by rivers, carnivals, parades, swimming and jumping through sprinklers, evenings at the park, picking juicy fruit at orchards, petting calves at the farms, concerts in the town square, popsicles made from leftover watermelon juice.
Little One is growing and Her babyhood has slipped away too, like the summer. Leaving us to wonder all the same things; did we take it for granted? Did we enjoy every moment? Make enough sweet memories? Take enough pictures? Stop taking pictures long enough to be present?
I know how Little One feels when She's left standing there calling after the dogs. I want to ask Her the same things She's thinking about them. Why can't you slow down, just a little bit? Why can't I hold on to you as long as I want, just like this?
But they go. She grows. The leaves are starting to turn.
The only thing to do is follow Her lead on these things. Watch them go, pout a little, move on to the next thing. The summer is over and my sweet baby is just a couple weeks from being two. Two! Two?! I suppose it's time to hold on to Her two-ness as hard as I can, make some apple cider and jump in some piles of leaves. I guess it's a good consolation prize that even though we can't keep all the moments we love, there are so many more to love around the corner.
That's what we've all been doing around here, with Summer. Folding it into us as it keeps moving past, squeezing every last bit of summery-ness out of it we can as it slipped away.
There have been trips to the fair, hiking in woods and by rivers, carnivals, parades, swimming and jumping through sprinklers, evenings at the park, picking juicy fruit at orchards, petting calves at the farms, concerts in the town square, popsicles made from leftover watermelon juice.
Little One is growing and Her babyhood has slipped away too, like the summer. Leaving us to wonder all the same things; did we take it for granted? Did we enjoy every moment? Make enough sweet memories? Take enough pictures? Stop taking pictures long enough to be present?
I know how Little One feels when She's left standing there calling after the dogs. I want to ask Her the same things She's thinking about them. Why can't you slow down, just a little bit? Why can't I hold on to you as long as I want, just like this?
But they go. She grows. The leaves are starting to turn.
The only thing to do is follow Her lead on these things. Watch them go, pout a little, move on to the next thing. The summer is over and my sweet baby is just a couple weeks from being two. Two! Two?! I suppose it's time to hold on to Her two-ness as hard as I can, make some apple cider and jump in some piles of leaves. I guess it's a good consolation prize that even though we can't keep all the moments we love, there are so many more to love around the corner.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Remembering the Fallen- and Falling.
This September 11, it seems like a good time to reflect on something I think about a lot. Every day, actually. Which is how knocks-my-breath-out grateful I am for the safely and the peace of my home.
On THE September 11th, even though most of us watched from safe distances, we still felt shaken. Something most of us take for granted was completely shattered for a day.
There was the Fear- consuming, stunting, numbing- that completely overwhelms. It shut us down. It stirred us up. It pushed everything else aside. It gripped us tight.
Today I am remembering those who lost lives and loved ones. I'm remembering those like my dad, who rushed into the flames to help those rushing out. I'm thinking of those like J who have pledged their lives to keeping us safe, especially those who have suffered so much for that goal.
I am taking some time to close my eyes and Thank. With every fiber of my everything I have, for waking up each morning with my husband, with my daughter, and NOT wondering if we will all make it through the day. For tucking my baby into bed with an amazing kind of certainty that the only nightmares She will experience, are in Her sleep. I'm putting my hands on the walls of my home, and appreciating that they are standing. That I am so sure that tomorrow they will be strong around us. I'm saying a prayer of thanks that horrors like that of September 11 are so rare in my homeland, hopefully less than once in a lifetime. I am loving my country, and my countrymen.
And. Today I am also remembering the so, so many people in this world, for whom that Overwhelming Fear is present every. single. day. For those who feel as I did when I watched that plane hit the tower- but feel it always. And are somehow expected to go on with the business of living. Of trying to raise their children. Of trying to be human. There are millions. All over the world. In the neighborhoods not so far from mine. Yours. Today my heart goes out to those for whom being terrified and uncertain are 'normal'.
And among my prayers of healing for the 9/11 victims and their families, my prayers of gratitude for those who save and protect us, and for the safety we take for granted, I am also saying prayers of compassion. Of human understanding. For families and children and nations... and all of us.
Prayers for peace.
On THE September 11th, even though most of us watched from safe distances, we still felt shaken. Something most of us take for granted was completely shattered for a day.
There was the Fear- consuming, stunting, numbing- that completely overwhelms. It shut us down. It stirred us up. It pushed everything else aside. It gripped us tight.
Today I am remembering those who lost lives and loved ones. I'm remembering those like my dad, who rushed into the flames to help those rushing out. I'm thinking of those like J who have pledged their lives to keeping us safe, especially those who have suffered so much for that goal.
I am taking some time to close my eyes and Thank. With every fiber of my everything I have, for waking up each morning with my husband, with my daughter, and NOT wondering if we will all make it through the day. For tucking my baby into bed with an amazing kind of certainty that the only nightmares She will experience, are in Her sleep. I'm putting my hands on the walls of my home, and appreciating that they are standing. That I am so sure that tomorrow they will be strong around us. I'm saying a prayer of thanks that horrors like that of September 11 are so rare in my homeland, hopefully less than once in a lifetime. I am loving my country, and my countrymen.
And. Today I am also remembering the so, so many people in this world, for whom that Overwhelming Fear is present every. single. day. For those who feel as I did when I watched that plane hit the tower- but feel it always. And are somehow expected to go on with the business of living. Of trying to raise their children. Of trying to be human. There are millions. All over the world. In the neighborhoods not so far from mine. Yours. Today my heart goes out to those for whom being terrified and uncertain are 'normal'.
And among my prayers of healing for the 9/11 victims and their families, my prayers of gratitude for those who save and protect us, and for the safety we take for granted, I am also saying prayers of compassion. Of human understanding. For families and children and nations... and all of us.
Prayers for peace.
http://www.theirc.org/
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Itst Bitsy Spider, Spinning a Web for Me
Little One loves the itsy, bitsy spider. The song is a carseat entertainment staple.
She also has two beloved books about itsy bitsy; one that takes the whole water spout thing and runs with it, continuing the rhyme so that the itsy, bitsy spider has a series of adventures in bug-land.
A little while ago, out of nowhere, Little One had an Idea. She pointed and begged until I took Her upstairs. She pushed me into the rocking chair. "Sit, mommy. Sit there." Ok. She went and got the epic adventures of itsy from the shelf, and climbed into my lap with it. "No read mommy, no. Little One do it." Ok.
She turned the pages quickly, looking for something. Then She found it. "Read, mommy". I read the ryme about the spider falling and scraping her knees. Little One wanted to emphasize some of the thematic elements of the plot line here:
LO: "Ouch! Fall! Spider owie."
C: "yes, spider fell and scraped her knees"
LO: "Spider owie! Ohhhh, cry! Owie!" And then, pointing; "mama banade, fix".
C: "yes, her mother gives her some band aids."
LO: "mama, cracker."*
C: "yes, I guess you're right. In the picture her mother gives her a cracker too".
Little One got excited. We were getting to something important here.
LO: "spider fall! Her cry! (pointing at the spider) OWIE! (tapping spider's knees) Spider mama! (pointing) Cracker! (emphatically tapping the cracker)."
She repeated this several times. "Spider owie, mama cracker".
And then She turned and patted me on the chest, "mama!" Looking me right in the eyes to be sure I was getting this. And then.
She hiked up Her skirt, and with an impish little smile pointed to the perennial healing toddler-scab on Her knee.
LO:"MAma."
C: "...Yes?"
LO: "OWie."
*In the book it was a cookie. Since Little One has never had a cookie, She assumes all round, brown, edible things are of the much coveted cracker variety. Crackers are "smeshal tyeats". So the tricks the girl with go through to get one are, clearly, endless.
She also has two beloved books about itsy bitsy; one that takes the whole water spout thing and runs with it, continuing the rhyme so that the itsy, bitsy spider has a series of adventures in bug-land.
A little while ago, out of nowhere, Little One had an Idea. She pointed and begged until I took Her upstairs. She pushed me into the rocking chair. "Sit, mommy. Sit there." Ok. She went and got the epic adventures of itsy from the shelf, and climbed into my lap with it. "No read mommy, no. Little One do it." Ok.
She turned the pages quickly, looking for something. Then She found it. "Read, mommy". I read the ryme about the spider falling and scraping her knees. Little One wanted to emphasize some of the thematic elements of the plot line here:
LO: "Ouch! Fall! Spider owie."
C: "yes, spider fell and scraped her knees"
LO: "Spider owie! Ohhhh, cry! Owie!" And then, pointing; "mama banade, fix".
C: "yes, her mother gives her some band aids."
LO: "mama, cracker."*
C: "yes, I guess you're right. In the picture her mother gives her a cracker too".
Little One got excited. We were getting to something important here.
LO: "spider fall! Her cry! (pointing at the spider) OWIE! (tapping spider's knees) Spider mama! (pointing) Cracker! (emphatically tapping the cracker)."
She repeated this several times. "Spider owie, mama cracker".
And then She turned and patted me on the chest, "mama!" Looking me right in the eyes to be sure I was getting this. And then.
She hiked up Her skirt, and with an impish little smile pointed to the perennial healing toddler-scab on Her knee.
LO:"MAma."
C: "...Yes?"
LO: "OWie."
*In the book it was a cookie. Since Little One has never had a cookie, She assumes all round, brown, edible things are of the much coveted cracker variety. Crackers are "smeshal tyeats". So the tricks the girl with go through to get one are, clearly, endless.
Monday, September 6, 2010
A New Beginning at an Old Beginning
I have one last thing I wanted to share about our New Mexico trip before I get the heck on with it. One of the highlights of the visit, for me, was this moment here:
It might not look so special, but it is. When J first came to Santa Fe, and first met my dad, he (ahem...at the last possible minute after wussing out all weekend...ahem) had the guts to ask dad if, hey, nice to meet you, mind if I marry your daughter? My dad ran him off with a shotgun.
Kidding! He poured us all champagne, and the next morning J and I rushed out to the city, all exuberant and ready to get official. We ended up in this Trading Post, where he bought me a $25 fake diamond ring and barely made it out the door before pulling it out of the little paper sack and asking me-in the exact spot where Little One and I are standing- to be his wife. It was New Years Day, I said yes, and we went around the corner and kissed in public by the ice sculptures.
I had lived in Arizona for a long time then, and I remember thinking about how extra magical it was to be right there at that moment, in the place I was born and was a child and grew up. How lovely it was to be in the place of my beginning, to embark on another beginning, a new life.
Now I look at that picture up there, and I find myself thinking the same thing. How Little One and I are standing there, at the place where this family began, where in a way Little One began. And to know, now, that though you can't see it, in that picture there is the beginning of another new life.
There is a magic in the bones of New Mexico. It's in the mesas and the sunsets, the spices and the turquoise. It shimmers in the aspen leaves and smells like chamisa and becomes your bones too. They don't call it the land of enchantment for nothing.
Kidding! He poured us all champagne, and the next morning J and I rushed out to the city, all exuberant and ready to get official. We ended up in this Trading Post, where he bought me a $25 fake diamond ring and barely made it out the door before pulling it out of the little paper sack and asking me-in the exact spot where Little One and I are standing- to be his wife. It was New Years Day, I said yes, and we went around the corner and kissed in public by the ice sculptures.
I had lived in Arizona for a long time then, and I remember thinking about how extra magical it was to be right there at that moment, in the place I was born and was a child and grew up. How lovely it was to be in the place of my beginning, to embark on another beginning, a new life.
Now I look at that picture up there, and I find myself thinking the same thing. How Little One and I are standing there, at the place where this family began, where in a way Little One began. And to know, now, that though you can't see it, in that picture there is the beginning of another new life.
There is a magic in the bones of New Mexico. It's in the mesas and the sunsets, the spices and the turquoise. It shimmers in the aspen leaves and smells like chamisa and becomes your bones too. They don't call it the land of enchantment for nothing.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Hot Chilis are Better than Hot Fevers
Although I'm sorry that Little One and I weren't the best company for the NM partying, I'm glad we were there. And I'm glad that She felt a little better on the day my mom and I had designated for visiting old haunts in Santa Fe. Because, for one thing, the Plaza in summer looks like this:
So, seeing as how I don't get to visit nearly enough, I stockpiled green chile like a Y2K fanatic
getting ready for the Big One.My mom knows all the best places. Where the buildings are out of the way and boring and barely even have a sign, and the food nearly causes you to faint from happiness. We hit as many of these joints as was humanly
possible, and walked it off in between, wandering the plaza and breathing in the cool, perfect air on the mountain.Little One was still not totally Herself. She may have even had a little fit, resulting in a time out on the sidewalk, resulting in a big fit, that was evidently SO awesome that a photographer came up and just had to start snapping closeups (without asking), saying, "ooh, the emotion is just so real!" But overall, She had a good time exploring and a GREAT time trying the food.
That's right. Beans and tortillas, meat and chilis, salsas and sopaipillas. She totally kept up with me and my mom, which is saying a lot. And I have to confess to a little bit of pride at how the girl does justice to Her New Mexican heritage. She may be barely past babyhood, but as far as Little One is concerned, the spicier the better! Can you tell we are enjoying ourselves here?
She got further spoiled when we went into a cheesy souvenier shop for batteries, and She fell
instantly in love. Oooh, Nana, Nana pleaaase? Baby Nana! Baby! You know, my Nana fell for that same trick. I had a cheap plastic Indian doll just like it, obtained with the exact same puppy eyes in pretty much the same place. Those Nanas. Suckers.Well, Hadeezhi here has become a favorite friend, and not only comforted Little One immensely the rest of the trip and on the plane, but has come along with us just about everywhere since we got back. These Nanas, I tell you. They know things.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Guesting
Hey guys,
Today I'm featured over at A Bushel and a Peck; a great place to read one mom's experiences about resources and ideas for kids who have common issues related to adoption and poverty.
She is sharing a comment I made with some advice for adoptive families who have children with food issues. Some of these parents were wondering why their kids seem to crave protein all the time. So believe it or not, I'm talking about meat. :) Go check it out and join the conversation!
Today I'm featured over at A Bushel and a Peck; a great place to read one mom's experiences about resources and ideas for kids who have common issues related to adoption and poverty.
She is sharing a comment I made with some advice for adoptive families who have children with food issues. Some of these parents were wondering why their kids seem to crave protein all the time. So believe it or not, I'm talking about meat. :) Go check it out and join the conversation!
Thursday, August 26, 2010
La Llorona- Mini Version.
Speaking of our trip to Nana. Do you know what is really, really awesome timing?!A toddler managing to spike a 104 degree fever in the middle of the night before you get on a plane across the country! That's what!
What is it with Little One and traveling? Doesn't She know that our insurance forces us into the ER for every sniffle if we're not at our home base? I tell you.
So, since the fever was still with us after 2 airplanes and 8 hours, and as it was now accompanied by a lot of screaming, we skipped the first night of Nana's parties and had our own party in the Santa Fe hospital's special pediatric waiting room.
Complete with child-friendly diversions! Such as: The gang member and his half-naked girlfriend with the tattooed neck. The reeking bag lady that Little One wanted to "tuck in" because she was "sleeping". And, best of all, the large woman in a belly shirt, hotpants, knee-socks and sneakers, with the traditional espanola lipliner, shaved brows, and mile high bangs, SCREAMING into her cell phone for 20 minutes; "why you like that?! How you gonna leave me here?! You know I got no ride and why you gonna be mean on me?!" while spewing standard swear words and allusions to other women, drugs, and violent threats. Ah, Santa Fe. Feels like home again.
Little One wasn't too concerned about all this. She was mostly consumed by complete disgust in a big cheese doodle on the floor that She was convinced was an orange poo. An orange poo on the floor. Why is there orange poo on the floor?! MELTDOWN.
She might have felt better if the triage nurse had been able to give Her some medicine for the fever. But since they carry only one flavor of motrin, and She happened to be allergic to it, we got to experience 4 hours of the above delights at 103.6 degrees!
We finally got a bed in the ER and were told by the hippie with the red fro-hair, that "man, ya know youre gonna be here like all night man. Its crazy busy man, friday night!"
Luckily my mom was in town with us and went out for safe motrin and food, so we were all in a better mood by then. We entertained ourselves with stickers. And then, finally, we saw the doctor.Now, I expected the long wait, but what I was really dreading were the tests. We have had a couple of nightmare experiences with taking Little One to the ER while traveling. But do you know that there is a huge benefit to potty training that I hadn't even thought of? Pee i
n a cup! Pee in a cup! YAY NO CATHETER pee in a cup! It was the least traumatic ER visit we've ever had. (In some ways.)We went to our hotel with meds for an ear infection and a good healthy dose of nostalgia for the proud location of my birth. Little One draped Her entire burning-hot baby body on top of me, circled Her sweaty arms around my neck, and slept all night.
A few days later a tell-tale full-body rash informed me that roseola was the culprit all along, but for the remainder of the weekend, Little One continued to be pretty out of sorts. She spent a lot of time pouting and clinging to me like a little monkey. She loved the music at Nana's party, but hated all the people. NO ONE was to touch, talk to, or look at Her besides Mommy. With one exception:
It was a relief for me, and my back, to have those two so close. And it was really, really sweet to see. As I watched the two of them from across the room, seeing the word "Babysitter" flash in neon lights around Ree's adorable little head, I added another reason to the long list of why I wish I lived closer to this sister who is growing up awfully fast.Lets face it. It was a lovely few days of parties, it was fantastic to see so many family members- the technically related as well as those appropriated into the clan over years- and I wouldn't have missed it for the world. But it was exhausting tending to a miserable kiddo and there were a lot of tears shed as the festivities wrapped up and the goodbyes came around on Sunday.
Of course, our plane home wasn't until Tuesday. Which left us a whole day to treat our wounds with the patented Santa Fe elixir of green chilis, oozey cheese, and more green chilis. Maybe they should keep some of that in the fancy hospital.
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