Hi guys!
It's Me! C! Remember me?!
ME EITHER.
Last summer, I was cruising down my path in life. You know, just going along, hitting occasional bumps, getting into ruts and out of them, going down hills and up hills, enjoying the ride. When suddenly there was this little side path that just popped up out of nowhere.
It wasn't on like, my highlighted map or my GPS travel plan or anything. But there it was, and I had to decide fast! So I slammed on the brakes and cranked the steering wheel as far as it would go, and spun out and fishtailed and skidded onto it. And just kept going.
It's been quite a ride. Until now, I truly have not been able to take both hands off the wheel long enough to type a single thing.
What happened was that I started working. I have been so lucky to be able to stay home with my kids, and I had hoped and planned that I would always be able to do that while they are little. But this opportunity came up that I couldn't pass by.
I have been volunteering for Artists For Charity for 8 years now. It is a cause so dear to my heart. And it's personal; I've met the kids. They've taken care of MY kids. I believe so wholeheartedly in what this organization does and the way they do it. So when the opportunity came up to be a bigger part of that, I had to take it!
It's great, because I am able to work almost completely from home, determine my own schedule, and work pretty flexible hours. So I still get to take care of all the Littles myself; no need for child care or babysitters, and I still get to be there for the tea parties, the first words, the fevers. It's a dream come true, in so many ways.
The other side of it is that the line between "I'm working here" and "I'm living here" can get pretty blurry. There are no hours that I'm not at work, but also no hours that I'm not at mommy-ing. So I'm still working out the balance.
Add to this that I happened to jump in right at the absolute busiest, most crazy, chaotic time of year for the AFC team here- right before our big benefit that funds the whole operation. And to really make it crazy we had two big benefits for the first time this year, on back-to-back Saturdays, one in NYC and one in DC (whose crazy idea was that?!) Add to that J working over 90 hours a week as a resident, and me stubbornly refusing to miss PTA meetings or skip planning birthday parties, and I'm basically a hot mess.
My mom once described her years as a single, working mother as being on a runaway steam engine, just blasting through time. I have thought of that metaphor so many times the last four months. I get it mom, I totally do.
There have been times I've wondered whether it was the right choice. Times I've been sure it wasn't. Times when I thought that if I didn't get some sleep soon I might actually, seriously, spontaneously combust. Mom-guilt and sleep deprivation are a toxic combination, Peanuts. DON'T DRINK IT.
But. The two events (which sound all small and cute when I say it like that, as if they can't possibly have dominated my entire life for three months) are now over. They went well, thank goodness, and so I can go forward in the new year knowing that the AFC kids are going to be ok. They are going to keep their home, their schools, their doctors. I can take a deep breath, a step back, and start again working towards this goal of creating balance. (Any of you have that? Care to share your secrets?!)
Also, my in-laws were here for a week, which helped a lot. Helpful, lovable in-laws are a luxury in life, and a blessing. My mom, bless her, arrived at the height of the crazy and scooped up my Littles, made some lasagna, folded the laundry, and let me take a nap. She'll be here a few more days, at which point I haven't decided whether chain her to something in my house, or zip my family into one of her suitcases. And J, who has much more than I do to deal with right now, has nonetheless pulled through for me and been the most supportive and helpful person ever, as always. He even came and volunteered at the benefit, he even unloaded the truck the next day. After making breakfast.
So while I'm still driving in unfamiliar territory, without a map, I think I've cleared the switchbacks and am headed for a simpler stretch. Most importantly, and so luckily, I'm not driving solo. Hopefully I'll be able to stop in here more often now, so you can come along, too.
First- Hot shower. Cookies. Sleep.
And please, I have to ask, go check out the charity. I wouldn't be getting up this early and working this hard if it wasn't that important.
It's Me! C! Remember me?!
ME EITHER.
Last summer, I was cruising down my path in life. You know, just going along, hitting occasional bumps, getting into ruts and out of them, going down hills and up hills, enjoying the ride. When suddenly there was this little side path that just popped up out of nowhere.
It wasn't on like, my highlighted map or my GPS travel plan or anything. But there it was, and I had to decide fast! So I slammed on the brakes and cranked the steering wheel as far as it would go, and spun out and fishtailed and skidded onto it. And just kept going.
It's been quite a ride. Until now, I truly have not been able to take both hands off the wheel long enough to type a single thing.
What happened was that I started working. I have been so lucky to be able to stay home with my kids, and I had hoped and planned that I would always be able to do that while they are little. But this opportunity came up that I couldn't pass by.
I have been volunteering for Artists For Charity for 8 years now. It is a cause so dear to my heart. And it's personal; I've met the kids. They've taken care of MY kids. I believe so wholeheartedly in what this organization does and the way they do it. So when the opportunity came up to be a bigger part of that, I had to take it!
It's great, because I am able to work almost completely from home, determine my own schedule, and work pretty flexible hours. So I still get to take care of all the Littles myself; no need for child care or babysitters, and I still get to be there for the tea parties, the first words, the fevers. It's a dream come true, in so many ways.
The other side of it is that the line between "I'm working here" and "I'm living here" can get pretty blurry. There are no hours that I'm not at work, but also no hours that I'm not at mommy-ing. So I'm still working out the balance.
Add to this that I happened to jump in right at the absolute busiest, most crazy, chaotic time of year for the AFC team here- right before our big benefit that funds the whole operation. And to really make it crazy we had two big benefits for the first time this year, on back-to-back Saturdays, one in NYC and one in DC (whose crazy idea was that?!) Add to that J working over 90 hours a week as a resident, and me stubbornly refusing to miss PTA meetings or skip planning birthday parties, and I'm basically a hot mess.
My mom once described her years as a single, working mother as being on a runaway steam engine, just blasting through time. I have thought of that metaphor so many times the last four months. I get it mom, I totally do.
There have been times I've wondered whether it was the right choice. Times I've been sure it wasn't. Times when I thought that if I didn't get some sleep soon I might actually, seriously, spontaneously combust. Mom-guilt and sleep deprivation are a toxic combination, Peanuts. DON'T DRINK IT.
But. The two events (which sound all small and cute when I say it like that, as if they can't possibly have dominated my entire life for three months) are now over. They went well, thank goodness, and so I can go forward in the new year knowing that the AFC kids are going to be ok. They are going to keep their home, their schools, their doctors. I can take a deep breath, a step back, and start again working towards this goal of creating balance. (Any of you have that? Care to share your secrets?!)
Also, my in-laws were here for a week, which helped a lot. Helpful, lovable in-laws are a luxury in life, and a blessing. My mom, bless her, arrived at the height of the crazy and scooped up my Littles, made some lasagna, folded the laundry, and let me take a nap. She'll be here a few more days, at which point I haven't decided whether chain her to something in my house, or zip my family into one of her suitcases. And J, who has much more than I do to deal with right now, has nonetheless pulled through for me and been the most supportive and helpful person ever, as always. He even came and volunteered at the benefit, he even unloaded the truck the next day. After making breakfast.
So while I'm still driving in unfamiliar territory, without a map, I think I've cleared the switchbacks and am headed for a simpler stretch. Most importantly, and so luckily, I'm not driving solo. Hopefully I'll be able to stop in here more often now, so you can come along, too.
First- Hot shower. Cookies. Sleep.
And please, I have to ask, go check out the charity. I wouldn't be getting up this early and working this hard if it wasn't that important.
I completely know what you're going through-- finding balance is a never ending battle. Good for you for taking up such a worthwhile opportunity!
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