Ism Basket

Busy as we've been, I have been working on a little present for you, Peanuts.  I've got a nice little basket of Isms for you! I've been saving them up.  Don't say I never gave you anything! Her you go:
  

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We were talking about how LO is going to be 3 next year.  At the table, She randomly mentioned to J that She is TWO.  (Not SO random; She likes to mention this often.).
C: "That's right, Little One, and tell Daddy how old will you be next?"
LO: "Oh! Yes, Daddy! (points to Her ear) this next ear gonna be THREE ears!"
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When we pulled into the driveway, everything was slick with rain.

C: "Little One, please

put your shoes back on."

LO: "why?"

C: "Because it's wet outside, and

I don't want you to slip and fall."

LO: "This floor wet?"

C: "Yes, the ground is all wet, see?"

LO: "Oh.  You mopped?"

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C: "I'm sorry, Little One, but O can't come because he was in a car accident".
LO: "Oh no, mommy. Uh oh. O pee-pee in car seat?"

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 When I offered Little One a treat for being so good at the grocery store, She chose lima beans.

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When I told the neighbor's dog "no" for barking at me, She scolded me.  "This neighbor dog, Mommy. No say no neighbor dog. On'y neighbor can do that. Mommy it's ok.  You can say 'no' to your dog mommy.  On'y say no to own doggies ok." 

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Little One was about to get a 1,2,3, time out.   I got to two, and She came up to me with Her hands out in "simmer down now" position:

"Oh, hun-neee.  It's ok hun-nee.  No need say one two tree. Ever'thing be ok.  Jus' calm down there."
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I had to feed Little Miss in the middle of dinner.  Little One got down from Her chair, picked up a teddy, and sat the chair beside me.  I was starting to scold Her for interrupting Her dinner to play, when She pulled Her t-shirt down and explained to me, "Mommy. Have to feed this teddy.  He hungry!  I'm not playin' mommy, I jus' feedin' my baby. Jus' like mamma." 

Clever girl.  

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We went to a new park. She broke it in by climbing to the top of the highest slide, throwing her arms out wide, tilting Her head back, bending one knee, and belting out :

"all the single ladies, all the single ladies, all the single ladies! uh uh oh!"

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She has started referring to unknown people and objects as "this big old boy" or "that big old car there".  Everything new is big and old.  I can't decide whether it's more or less funny when the person really is big and old.
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I asked Her to sing me a song.  She hung Her head, drug Her feet a few steps, and lamented,  

"Mommy, I can't right now.  I'm jus' too old and sick."  
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C: "Little One Elizabeth, you get in this tub right now!"

LO: "MOM! Hunny. Don't havta yell.  Don't have say a-wiv-a-bef! Little One wiv-a-bef comin!"

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Walking out of Glen Echo park, coming to the big bridge over a stream, Little One puts Her arm protectively across the front of the stroller and stops us:

Little One: "Mamma wait. Uuummm....hmm.  Mommy, wait, be so careful.  Need look out, mom.  Could be a grumpy old troll unner there."
Luckily a kind passer-by reassured Her that they had just crossed the bridge safely, and seen no trolls.  We proceeded. With caution.

Little One peered over the edge.

"Mommy! Ok mommy.  Grumpy old troll must be somewhere else.  Unner there just some water!"

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LO: "Waaah! Moooooooommeeee!"

C: "Little One! Why are you crying?"

LO: "B-be-cause, my finger jus' hurtin'! Mommy! Ah need a ban-gadge!"

C: "Ok, Little One. I'll get you a bandage. What happened to your finger?"

LO: "Oh. I jus' bite it."

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Little One: "Oh oh oh! Oh mommy!
Is ANT! Look mommy,
uh oh is ANT right here!"

C: "I know, love. We have some ants in here right now. Just leave him alone."

LO: "Oh.  Ok, mommy. Ok."

*time passes.  It's very quiet.  Too quiet.  I peek in to see Her nudging some food around on Her plate*

C: "Little One? What are you up to in there?"
LO: "Oh, Mommy, I jus' am sharin' some food with this ants."

C: "Ok. Well, it's nice to share,
but I think we don't need to share food with the ants, ok?"
LO: "Mama!  Mommy I HAVE share this ants! Mommy. This ants, have tummy.  All this ants have stom-ak like I have stom-ak.  Maybe tummies can get so hungry.  All this little hungry tummies over there.  So see?  I have some break-kris, can share it.  Have share some break-kris, mommy. See?"  

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Me: "Hey, what's wrong?"

LO: "Mommy, I just worried. 'Bout mine daddy."

Me: "Why are you worried?" 

LO: "Mommy, this daddy jus', is workin' SO HARD!"

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Slicking Her up in Her gooey eczema cream after bath-

C: "Ugh! Little One, hold on a sec! You're all slimy!"

Little One: "Aw, mommy! I not too swymee! Look, on'y a little swymee.  Mommy is ok if I'm swymee, you jus' havta hug me! Mommy, you have hug me.  Because I love you! So MUCH!"

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C: "Little One! Why are you so wiggly?! It's time to calm down for sleep.  

Put your feet back in the bed, please."

LO: "Mommy! My lef' foot, right foot are out! I'm jus' doin' a hokey-pokey, mommy, thas all.  Jus' doin' some hokey-pokey, and turn myself around. Mommy, thas what is all about!"