Admitted

After Little Miss was born and we were both all check-upped and declared in as good a shape as can be expected, considering, the medical people did a funny thing.
They said, "All right! Since this is your second baby, you can go home tomorrow if you want! Would you like that!?" 
HA ha.  Hahahahaaaa.  I laughed at this little joke, and explained, "Oh.  No, no.  I have a toddler".  
The medical people looked at me all blankly.  They must not have small children. 
So I elaborated, "Which is to say, no thank you.  I'd like to stay the full amount of time, if you don't mind".  By which, of course, I meant: "I am not vacating these premises until you drag me screaming and biting by my ankles, having broken through all ten of the fingernails I will have firmly embedded in the hospital mattress.  And I've been taking prenatal vitamins; those suckers are strong." 
Because telling the mother of a 2 year old to "go home and take it easy" is like telling a pig to go into a butcher shop and have a nice day.  And because from the point of view of mother to one such 2 year old, the hospital is a four-star resort. 
I had my own room.  AND bathroom.  Do you know what that means!? I could shower practically whenever I wanted, for practically as LONG as I wanted.  I got to shut the door, every time I peed. 
No one snored and I didn't have to share the covers.  Whenever the Baby was sleeping- even in the day time! Even in the night time! At snack! At dinner! ANY time She was asleep- I got to sleep.  Seriously! I napped! Sure, I woke up from people screaming occasionally. But I got to just nestle happily back into my pillow, all cozy with the knowledge that it was being handled by Someone Else.  This is luxury, Peanuts.
Sure, the hospital food was nasty to the point of being mostly unedible and my order was wrong every single time, but it was brought right to me, on a tray.  And the preparing and cleaning up from these meals was also handled by the mystical, magical Someone Else.  This is gourmet dining, Peanuts. 
A guy brought me water, too, anytime I wanted! It even had those fun crushed up ice cubes.  And a straw!  All my used towels went into the Someone Else bin and I didn't have to vacuum AT ALL. 
It was quiet in there.  I didn't have to do anything except cuddle and stare adoringly at my new baby.  Who was much too small and helpless to climb up my pant-leg begging for an animal cracker, or to dump out the contents of my purse.  Plus, since I delivered at J's hospital and he got to visit between patients, I actually got to see more of my spouse during my stay.  And I had free childcare (thanks mom!). In my line of work, this is what we call a vacation. 
Besides which, I thought it was the considerate thing to do, to give Little Miss a couple of days to recover from being suddenly expelled from a warm, quiet existence into the bright, noisy world before shocking Her system with the exponentially noisier, more chaotic world of toddler, two dogs, and constantly running appliances. 
I did not watch TV, I did not bring my laptop.  I did not read a book, or even a magazine.  I slept, and I chatted with visitors, and I adored my baby, and that is it.  I soaked up all those precious moments with Her, where it was just us two, string-free, getting to know each other.  Of course, I did miss my Little One, and the vortex of energy She travels with.  By the end of my stay, I was ready to go home, show Little Miss around, and start into our new family life. 
I'll miss those crazy medical folks a bit, though.  They are so funny.  Always joking around!
When we left, do you know what they said to me?  They said: "Make sure you sleep whenever She does, and take care not to lift anything heavier than the baby".   HA HA!  Those sillies!