I figured out why grown-ups are so uncool

I think it's because we don't realize that we are old.
Like with Little One, when we got home I'm pretty sure our friends were shocked at the change in Her since we left. But since I see Her every day the changes are gradual and so (at least somewhat) less apparent.
Sort of like aging. I see my mug over the bathroom sink every day, and it just looks like my face. Now, if I went to sleep at 20 and woke up and looked in the mirror and saw this, I'd be like, "AAAaaiiiiIyyAAAA!!!!" The insides are like that too. I'm graduated, twice, I have a husband, a house, 2 dogs, a child and I still don't really feel like a grown up.
Sometimes, as a mom, that freaks me out! Children should not be parented by ungrown-ups! We lack the maturity to be perfect and the sagacity to have all the right answers! I'm going to screw Her up. I should have waited 'till I was an almighty Adult. Until I was ready to do everything right and not screw Her up!
But I think I would have waited forever. Because there was no one big definitive Moment- not even becoming a mom- that suddenly made me feel like a "grown up". I was concerned about this before, when I was pregnant and high on mind-altering hormones. But I thought, look. Deep breath! Surely having a baby will morph me into an adult, and we'll just go from there. But I held tiny Little One a few days after She was born, and marveled. Hunh. Nope, nada. Still felt like me, just sleepier. Gah! Emotional babies having babies!
And I still do! I still get impatient sometimes, I forget my appointments and leave my phone in the fridge. I never wear sunscreen! That is so irresponsible! I don't want this person raising my child!
The major difference between me now and then is that I no longer have time to pay attention to any part of society that is taller than 32 inches. I don't know what famous people are on the A list or the B list. I don't even know who's famous. Or what I'm supposed to be wearing. Where did I used to get this information? I don't know. I don't have time to think about that! Someone has put rubber bands in the toilet!
I just spend my days rotating around Little One like a moon, powerless to participate in the rest of the universe, bound by the forces of gravity and scheduled nap times. And so I lose touch with whatever it is people do now that makes them cool. Does anyone even say that anymore? I might as well say groovy. Or is groovy cool again? What? This is too much work. Somebody has put rubber bands in the dishwasher!
It's a shame that I will never, apparently, be a grown up. I'll never be a mommy like I imagined I would be, all serene and knowing, stopping hints of bad behavior with a raised eyebrow instead of wrestling through 4 flailing time outs in a row. And it's too bad that I will be much too absorbed with picking rubber bands out of the laundry hamper to learn how to be cool. I guess. But then again.
The nice thing about being an un-trendy parent who isn't even a really real Grown-Up is that I get to get in on the puddle-splashing action. I get to go down the slide head first. I get to throw caution and responsible parenting to the wind and hike barefoot, way off the trail, in a storm. To play in a hidden waterfall.

We arrived back at the car drenched. My hair was plastered all over my face, no one had on shoes, J was covered in mud, Little One wasn't wearing any pants. Not very well-planned, grown-up behavior! And definitely not very fashionable. But, to me? To me now, with my shuffled up priorities and expectations, and living in the moment because nothing will ever be predictable again? Very cool.