You can order the entree, and have a huge, heaping plate of ONE delicious thing. Or you can get the buffet, and have just a bit of lots of different things. But you can't do both. There simply isn't room for all that. You'd kill yourself trying to stuff it all in! Or at the very least end up with a terrible case of heartburn. That's no fun.
Now me, I've been metaphorically staring at the menu for TWO YEARS now. Trying to decide whether to do this one big huge thing- finish school. It's turned out to be the hardest decision of my whole life. I've deferred twice. The admissions office is like an irritated waiter, tapping impatiently on the ordering pad. "What will it be?"
I thought I came here for one specific dish. But then I wasn't sure...so many options...entree or buffet? Entree, buffet? Entree or buffet?!?!! Gah!!!
There are 875,642 variables that I entered into this decision making equation. But here's what I came up with. I think it would be very possible to be Little One's mommy and to work on this degree at the same time. But it would be very hard, and for a long long long long time, and it would certainly leave room for not much else. And you know, I'm really a smorgasboard kind of girl. I always want try everything.
I'll not kid myself; I'll be passing up a huge opportunity. Huge! But...it's not the only opportunity. Going with the buffet might not be what I had planned, and it might look sort of messy and hodgepogde on the plate, but it's sort of exciting in it's own way. There are lots of spicy options to try! Plus, there's the naan.
Do you know about Indian food? Little One gets to be the naan in this metaphor. In Indian food, naan is always part of the meal. No matter what you order, naan comes with it. It is the staple foundation upon which everything else must go.
If you order an entree, you get a limited amout. Just one little plate of naan with your lunch. In the buffet, well. You can have as much as you wish. You can get nothing but naan, should it happen to be your favorite. Metaphorically speaking, naan really is my very, very favorite.
I'm going to be sad that I passed up the PhD altogether. It was a one-time special. But I'm going to do my best to heap some other good stuff on my plate. And it's very nice to know that, now, I can have all the Little One I can fill myself with.
It is a hard decision, I know, I had to make it too. You will NEVER EVER regret choosing the buffet (and especially the naan)! You are an amazing person and whether you get a PhD now, later or never, you will do amazing things with your life and touch the lives of many many others.
ReplyDeleteYou also will love all the other options, pathways and journeys life takes you, NO Matter What You Decide to do...
and by the way...it usually takes you down paths you never expected and it is still an incredible amazing trip....just enjoy
i love you so very much
My C, I am proud of you for making this decision. Be happy, be healthy, be strong. And always look forward. XOXOXO Momma
ReplyDeleteI don't think you'll regret your decision one bit. Mattias has his PhD, and I went to vet school, and we can both say that raising Linus is the best thing ever. It's definitely a hard choice, but in the long run the right choice. My thoughts are, we can focus on our careers in a few years when our kids think we're lame and uncool ;) See you tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteCongrats just on making a decision (it's so hard to commit to a path sometimes)! I hope a burden is lifted now that you have decided! :)
ReplyDeleteThe decision you make is always the right one. Things work out no matter what we think about it. Little One will be very thankful someday when she realizes just how big this is.
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