Better than Chocolate

It's been cold here. Really cold. So cold that I haven't had the heart to tear poor Little One from Her toasty bed at 5am and strap Her into a 12degree car seat to take J to the train so I can have the car. So Little One and I have spent a lot of time at home. A lot.
And J has been pulling some long nights at the hospital, so he hasn't seen Little One much the past few days. So tonight, he spent some good one-on-one time with Little One while I got the heck outta the house. It was the longest time I've been away from Her... to which I said, Buh-BYE!
I went on a date. With my friend. We went to dinner and a movie. I changed NO diapers. No body cried. It was. SO. FUN.
After I dropped off my friend, I then topped off my night of freedom by doing something crazy, something that I did only because I am a grown-up and therefore entitled to make my own bad decisions.
I drove to CVS and bought myself a HUGE Hershey bar. AND...a chocolate milk. I've been dying for chocolate the whole last week, so I figured- well I didn't even bother to rationalize, actually. I just thought, "No one can stop me!!!" (cue maniacal laughter)
I stopped in the school parking lot by my house to both indulge in the chocolatey goodness and to also be all by myself for five minutes. (If you think this is pathetic, you're right. You also have no children.)
Sitting there, I remembered the last time I was in that parking lot. It didn't seem so long ago, that I was talking with my best friend on the phone, driving home from work, about whether or not Little One was ever going to exist.
And I stopped in that parking lot to have myself a good cry and get myself together before going home to J. (Elementary school parking lots, you will notice, are very good spots for doing secret stuff. I'm not the only one who thinks so, I once saw people making out there.)
I had sat there thinking about Little One, before She had even begun to Be, crying, and watching the rain streaming down the windshield.
I remembered all that. And I thought about how, just moments later it seems, here I am.
Not only is there Little One in my life, but now Little One sort of is my life. And She's really here, and really real.
So I put the empty calories way in the bottom of my purse, and I headed home instead. Suddenly, what I have there just seemed so much sweeter.